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  1. #1
    Obey's Avatar
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    Walmart Application

    WAL-MART APPLICATION of a 75 year old senior citizen
    WAL-MART APPLICATION

    This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas
    They hired him because he was so funny.....


    NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)

    SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

    DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place ?

    DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

    EDUCATION: Yes.

    LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

    PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

    MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

    REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked

    HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

    PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m . Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

    DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

    MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

    DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

    DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

    HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

    DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!
    On my breaks - yes!

    WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread
    Actually, I'd like to be doing that now

    NEAREST RELATIVE.7 miles

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
    KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

  2. #2
    snizox15's Avatar
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    how do i get my habamon on my page men ever i talk

  3. #3
    Firerouge's Avatar
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    Lol hilarious.

    I wonder if I should try this for my first job.

  4. #4
    Shark's Avatar
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    Hell, if I was 75, I'd do that too.

  5. #5
    lilgui62's Avatar
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    ROFLMAOOO!!!!!! "SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)" LOL!!! That almost made me piss my pants!! I'm dieing of laughter here!!

  6. #6
    zebramanz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snizox15 View Post
    how do i get my habamon on my page men ever i talk
    Theres a code on the habamon website, go to USER CP and go to edit signature and paste it to that box and apply it. So... they applied him cuz hes funny eh??? Lol then my friend (class clown) can prob get a lot of offers from a lot of companies.

  7. #7
    Ian's Avatar
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    hahaha lol i am gonna use that application and edit few things and gonna see if i will get a job here over the summer.. hope it has the same questions as above..

  8. #8
    dk173's Avatar
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    wow i posted the other one on this site and i noticed its the same thing

  9. #9
    -fudge-'s Avatar
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    SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

    lmfao

  10. #10
    Joshcarr2006's Avatar
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    Rofl I'm going to say that when I apply at KFC.

  11. #11
    Empire's Avatar
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    yeah funny thing is, they accepted him lol


  12. #12
    M2A's Avatar
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    lmfao .....thats how i do my app

  13. #13
    Obey's Avatar
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    Lol, I Lol'd when I seen it.

  14. #14
    NatureSkillz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by imsohoooood View Post
    [B]

    DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
    KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.
    lolz0rz :P
    Great Sig From TryMe, And Resized by bugmenot

    Click here to feed me a Nude Girl!!
    How To Create A MapleStory Private Server, Odin Based, And
    Fully Updated Aswel!:

    Click Here For A New MapleStory TUT V55

    Ever wanted to Spam/Troll/Flame without getting banned?<Free for Everyone!?!?>


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    Contact me if you want to be on the Respect list, You must do something good against me, or have a good reason >.>

    +1 Post Count!

  15. #15
    Chuck Norris's Avatar
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    Loll. Couldnt stop laughing about this!:O
    “Those who control the past, control the future: who controls the present controls the past” ~ George Orwell

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