This story in any way or form does not represent racism, hate or any kind of Un-Appropriate behavior.
June 2, 1993
It was a nice and warm day, the sun was out, and yet I found myself sitting inside. Glazing into the computer screen unconsciously. The psychedelic video played on, burning itself into my mind. I found myself helpless, I couldn’t move. My eyes burned but the only thing I could concentrate on was the video. The video ended, and I found myself freed from its grasp, but it wasn’t over. I still couldn’t stop thinking about it, the swastika embedded into my head. It was driving me insane, no matter what I did, that image was stuck in my mind. “Was I really loosing my mind? No I couldn’t be it was just a video.” I thought to myself. I laid my head on the pillow and closed my eyes trying to clear my thoughts. But it remained, as if it was Hitler himself self whispering in my ear. I turned on my T.V desperately trying to rid its evil presence. My attempt failed…Perhaps it will be gone by morning. “I’m just having a panic attack.” I closed my eyes and fell into a dark sleep. When I awoke I realized it wasn’t over…
June 3, 1993
As I awoke I found myself in a panic, the image remained! But this time it was worst. My eyes couldn’t focus; my thoughts seemed controlled by another being. “Is this really happening?” Trying to comfort myself I stepped into the shower. I turned on the hot water, and placed the shower head in a position so the water would hit the back of my neck and closed my eyes. My heart was pounding and still the swastika was burnt into my thoughts. Every thought was taken over. But now was the real challenge, work…
I stepped into the car and headed for work; once I arrived I realized I really wasn’t myself. Racist thoughts fluttered through my mind. I began to judge people, and label people. Once in my office I rested my head trying not to be noticed by my co-workers, the only person who noticed my unusual behavior was, ‘my boss’ (In who is Jewish) the only thing that I could think of as she approached me was, “look at this Jew.” I couldn’t help myself, the anger just kept growing inside me like a wild fire feeding off every emotion, as she approached my office cubicle she suspiciously mentioned,
“I noticed your abnormal behavior today, are you feeling alright?”
I couldn’t help but to think the most horrid things about her, I desperately fought back the thoughts and responded,
“I’m not feeling to well, but it shouldn’t be a problem.”
She softly said back
She then left to finish her work. I finished my work without a problem, and headed out to go home. As I left the office, a black fellow passed me on the sidewalk giving me an un-friendly stare, the fire inside me grew, the thoughts returned, giving me an abnormal feeling of hate. This time I was able to hold myself back from acting in an ‘Un-Appropriate” way. I don’t know how long I can fight this back I mentioned to myself. Once home I though it best to head straight for bed, to get an extra amount of sleep.
“Maybe I haven’t been getting enough sleep, causing me to have an extra grumpiness.” I thought to myself.
June 4, 1993
I awoke to that annoying alarm clock, in which I hated more then anything. I realized the extra sleep hadn’t done any good; the anger inside me was greater, I felt like smashing the alarm clock till it was un-recognizable. I got up and headed for the shower, every little thing angered me greatly. And again I headed for work, not knowing what I was in for, since I had no control over my mind anymore. Once in my office I headed straight for my cubicle again trying not to be noticed. My attempt was un-successful as I realized I was being stared at. My heart rate rose, I began to sweat. What the hell was everyone looking at? I began to nervously shake, and decided to rest my head, but I was interrupted by one of my co-workers, Jeff. Jeff was one of my friends, a tall skinny fellow with a loner personality.
“Everyone here is worried about you, you’ve been acting weird these last two days, are you sure your all right?” He said to me.
I simply responded with a yes, and attempted to rest my head, hoping he would leave. But he continued.
“You know you can tell me, is there anything you need to get of your chest?” He said quietly.
The fire rose inside again, and I couldn’t help but to burst.
“Get the hell away from me” I snarled
He walked away slowly with a surprised look on his face. And soon after, unsurprisingly I was approached by my boss.
“After witnessing your outbreak, I think it’s best for you to take some time off.” She stated
Angrily I jolted out of my chair, grabbed my belongings and left.
June 4, 1993
Lying in bed, my mind raced with thoughts. “What am I becoming?” I thought to myself. With the time I received off, I thought it would be best to schedule an appointment with a Psychiatrist.
The only spot I could get was for June 7, I don’t know if I could last that long. I lay rested in bed staring unconsciously at the ceiling fan and fell into a deep and dark day dream. That dream would be the turning point in my life, it would represent me hitting rock bottom as hard and as fast as I could possibly have. This was the end...Awaking from the dream I was a different person, the dream showed me the cure for my unexplainable disease.
That night I shaved my head. “Less Evidence.” I said to myself with a chuckle. I put on my black turtle neck, my black sweats, and some winter gloves, and stepped out the door. I grabbed my old dogs spiked choker chain out of my garage, and some electrical tape. I then crept out into the night…
I knew of a younger couple who often carelessly kept their back door unlocked, I though I’d take advantage of this wonderful opportunity. I then crept around the back of their house, and carefully opened the door. I tip-toed around the house trying to find where they slept. Finally I noticed a door in corner of the house, I silently walked over to it, but before I could open it I heard someone get up, they were walking towards the door. I panicked, and quietly hid in another door which seemed like a storage closet. I noticed a light was turned on, as lighted leaked in under the door. I heard a door open and shut; I tried to calm my breath down and waited. A toilet flushed, and I took a sigh of relief, as I heard the bedroom door shut again. I knew I had to wait a couple minutes before they’d fall asleep again, so again I waited. As what seemed like half an hour went by and I felt confident they were asleep again, I made my move.
I slowly and quietly opened the door, my heart was pounding. I couldn’t see anything but a little light let in through a little space between the window curtain and the window. I closed the door behind me. I knew I should take the male out first, as he would be the biggest challenge. I took the lamp next to their bed and smashed it on his head. Before the woman could scream I grabbed her by her throat and wrapped the tape around her mouth and quickly tied her hands and legs. Before the male could wake up I also wrapped his hands and legs. I could see the fear in the woman’s eyes. I waited until the male re-gained conciseness. He awoke in a panic, and I could hear his muffled scream. I then put the choke collar around his neck; I noticed that the woman closed her eyes, as if she knew what was next, so I taped her eye-lids open. I then went back to the male; I slowly took my time, making a rope out of the electrical tape. Once finished I put it in the loops of the collar, cracked my fingers and pulled it as hard as I could. I watched as the spikes embedded themselves into the male’s neck, blood began oozing out of the holes. I pulled on the rope even more, and his muffled screams faded. I turned towards the woman who had tears dripping out of her taped eyes. I decided not to use the choker chain on her, as it was embedded into the male’s neck. I sudden got extreme feelings of remorse, and sadness. “What have I done?” I thought to myself, as I began to panic. Even though undergoing feelings of sadness I knew I couldn’t let her live. I still had a chance at getting away. Then I had second thoughts about killing her...
“Why should I live? I had just viciously murdered a man.”
I then made my final decision. I took the tape off her eye lids, and whispered in her ear.
“I’m so sorry; I have no idea what I have just done…”
I then un-taped her hands and legs, and she ran out screaming for help.
I then de-embedded the choker chain from the male; I knew I didn’t have much time. I found a pull-up bar, in the door of their closet. I tied the electrical tape rope to it, and placed the choke chain (still connected to the rope) and placed it around my neck. I then prayed to my Lord for forgiveness, and jumped bending my legs back at the knees, and then darkness…
I found myself at what appeared to be Heaven’s Gate, in front of me stood my Lord. I told him it was the video that made me act in such a way.
“My child the video was nothing I was testing you, and you have failed.” He responded
He vanished… I heard voices behind me, as I turned around I found myself being approached by black demon looking creatures. They grabbed me viciously, and embedded their sharp nails into my ****, they then drug me further and further away.
I awoke to the sound of sirens, and when I opened my eyes, I found myself lying next to two dead bodies, a male… and a female…
Not written by me. But a very close friend of mine.
MindTek Exists As A Harm Reduction Nigga And Does Not Condemn Or Condone.