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  1. #1
    The Conjurer's Avatar
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    NASA Finds Message From God on Mars

    NASA Finds Message From God on Mars

    NASA announced today that its Curiosity Rover has found an unambiguous message from God written on tablets in a Martian cave.

    According to an official press release two giant stone slabs the size of small elephants were located deep inside a cavern abutting Aeolis Mons, a large mountain.

    Upon one tablet is a copy of the Ten Commandments and the text of John 3:16 written in 12 languages – including English, Spanish, Chinese, Basque and Hebrew. On the other tablet is a simple message in English reading “I am real.”

    According to top scientists who have studied the discovery extensively, these findings may have definitively established Christianity as the one true religion.

    “This is amazing,” says Syms Covington, an Australian researcher working for NASA’s Mars Exploration Program. “We went into the cave looking for water, and we found proof of God’s existence instead.

    ads not by this site
    “I mean how else did those tablets get there? I can tell you one thing: there’s not a single atheist inside NASA’s control room now. What we saw was jaw-dropping.”

    Genesis 1:1
    NASA’s Curiosity rover arrived on Mars in August of last year with a mission to explore the Martian climate and geology for signs for habitability.

    Thus far the mission has been a success, with the discovery of an ancient seabed and chemicals needed for life suggesting that Mars was once suitable for life.

    However the tablets, both of which are signed “Peace and Love – Yahweh,” represent the rover’s most significant find to date, and is perhaps the most important scientific event in history.

    “When people find out about this, they will demand change in our society,” explains a political scientist at Georgetown University. “Democracy will have to give way to theocracy. We’re gonna have to build more churches and reintroduce prayer intoschools. Abortion is defiantly going to be illegal within a few months.”

    Despite its potential significance, Covington fears that the Earth-shattering discovery may not make the impact it should.

    “Unfortunately, the mainstream media is so anti-Christian, they might not even pick up this story,” he explains. “But God is real. We have proof. And everyone deserves to hear the truth.”



  2. #2
    Deflorate.'s Avatar
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    > Finds markings on Mars
    > Says it's god.


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  4. #4
    Hack in the box's Avatar
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    Could be some psycho russian playing jokes with foolish americans.

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    Fast (08-24-2013)

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    Deflorate.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hack in the box View Post
    Could be some psycho russian playing jokes with foolish americans.
    I find that much more reasonable.

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    Lol, wow, idk what to think.

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    Euphemistic's Avatar
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    PyrexxHero®'s Avatar
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    This would have been bigger news if real.


    Also, the Ten Commandments were given to Moses. So if anything, it would prove Judaism was real
    Last edited by PyrexxHero®; 08-24-2013 at 06:15 PM.

    SuperBadassExtraordinaire says (5:53 PM):
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  10. #9
    Thinking is the Enemy of Creativity. It's Self-Conscious, & Anything Self-Conscious is Lousy.
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    Elocrypt.'s Avatar
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    And this is why I hate religion. -_-

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    .REZ's Avatar
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    Fuck your non existant god.

  12. #11
    Jason`'s Avatar
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    Karla857's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Conjurer View Post
    NASA Finds Message From God on Mars

    NASA announced today that its Curiosity Rover has found an unambiguous message from God written on tablets in a Martian cave.

    According to an official press release two giant stone slabs the size of small elephants were located deep inside a cavern abutting Aeolis Mons, a large mountain.

    Upon one tablet is a copy of the Ten Commandments and the text of John 3:16 written in 12 languages – including English, Spanish, Chinese, Basque and Hebrew. On the other tablet is a simple message in English reading “I am real.”

    According to top scientists who have studied the discovery extensively, these findings may have definitively established Christianity as the one true religion.

    “This is amazing,” says Syms Covington, an Australian researcher working for NASA’s Mars Exploration Program. “We went into the cave looking for water, and we found proof of God’s existence instead.

    ads not by this site
    “I mean how else did those tablets get there? I can tell you one thing: there’s not a single atheist inside NASA’s control room now. What we saw was jaw-dropping.”

    Genesis 1:1
    NASA’s Curiosity rover arrived on Mars in August of last year with a mission to explore the Martian climate and geology for signs for habitability.

    Thus far the mission has been a success, with the discovery of an ancient seabed and chemicals needed for life suggesting that Mars was once suitable for life.

    However the tablets, both of which are signed “Peace and Love – Yahweh,” represent the rover’s most significant find to date, and is perhaps the most important scientific event in history.

    “When people find out about this, they will demand change in our society,” explains a political scientist at Georgetown University. “Democracy will have to give way to theocracy. We’re gonna have to build more churches and reintroduce prayer intoschools. Abortion is defiantly going to be illegal within a few months.”

    Despite its potential significance, Covington fears that the Earth-shattering discovery may not make the impact it should.

    “Unfortunately, the mainstream media is so anti-Christian, they might not even pick up this story,” he explains. “But God is real. We have proof. And everyone deserves to hear the truth.”


    90% its not god?

  14. #13
    Pathogenic's Avatar
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    Guys, this is completely legit.
    Being an ass 95% of the time.

  15. #14
    Flying Magical Ponies's Avatar
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    OP is Filipino.
    Filipino people are ultra religious.
    Probably believed whatever is said to him.

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Flying Magical Ponies For This Useful Post:

    Doc (08-24-2013),The Conjurer (08-24-2013)

  17. #15
    The Conjurer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flying Magical Ponies View Post
    OP is Filipino.
    Filipino people are ultra religious.
    Probably believed whatever is said to him.
    Lol .

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