Results 1 to 11 of 11
  1. #1
    Reav3R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Ж█R▓£▒λ░ν▒З▓Я█Ж
    Posts
    3,742
    Reputation
    205
    Thanks
    250
    My Mood
    Angelic

    Post A sad and deep Poem/Lyrics: Wish

    Here's another poem I wrote today. Let me know what you think and don't lie if you cried after reading it.

    Green = Chorus

    Red = Verse
    () = Explanation

    Give me two wings now, with which I can fly away
    Fly out so far, when I end my day (sleep)
    You can take my eyes for them, don't want to see
    Being in pain and misery, thinking I'm free

    Give me some hope and a reason to fight
    With your light guide the way while it's shining bright (while I can still be saved)
    You can show me the truth, or just tell me a lie
    That I wanted to hear, for which I will die
    (eventually find out it's a lie)

    Turn to left, auto theft (armed robbery with a car), he left us to run (run after the thief)
    Turn to right, a sad sight (=view), (+the poor are) sleeping hungry at night
    Makes me wonder now, if a thunder could be worse
    Than corrupt (+police) officers, taking people down by force (opening fire because they can)
    Makes me think how, in a blink of an eye
    They devour (ruin) everything, leaving people to die

    Sad but true, go through, an official dispute
    How do you, solve a problem, with a single root? (they are the problem themselves)
    Don't you hesitate, go tell them what they do (get help from people causing the problem)
    Bring a trap back to hunters, be their prey too
    Don't you have a brain? See the pain and despair
    Take it back and make a stand, show them it's not so fair


    Give me a flame now, with which I can find a way
    Cry out so loud, when there's nothing to say
    You can take my life, for I don't want to be
    In a world filled with filth and with cruelty

    Give me salvation (=peace) now, I have no hope
    As I'm laying in rain (=tears), 'round my neck a deathrope (=hanging)
    You could've saved so many lives but, now it's too late
    Taking my last breath, I surrendered to fate


    You can also press thanks button if liked my poem and it's (thank button) not too hard for you to find.
    * Contact Information *
    Yahoo: darkslayer84@yahoo.com
    MSN: parham6@live.com
    Skype: parham649
    ooVoo: Parham6
    * Vouches (Trade Reputation) *
    Vouch #1 - RenardO went first, No Middleman: My Account => His Account
    Vouch #2 - Mr.StoneX went first, No Middleman: My Account => His uPlay+Steam Accounts

  2. #2
    Rance-Sama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Ice
    Posts
    6,337
    Reputation
    653
    Thanks
    8,058
    #3deep5me

    You really should stop writing poetry or at least not have every poem revolve around suicide. Emo much OP?

  3. #3
    Reav3R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Ж█R▓£▒λ░ν▒З▓Я█Ж
    Posts
    3,742
    Reputation
    205
    Thanks
    250
    My Mood
    Angelic
    Quote Originally Posted by AqworldThunder View Post
    #3deep5me

    You really should stop writing poetry or at least not have every poem revolve around suicide. Emo much OP?
    It's the reader that decides the ending, as they could be interpreted in different ways. Maybe it's your way of thinking that leads to you drawing the conclusion which involves suicide (is that even a sentence that I made?!).

    P.S.: Your avatar...?!
    * Contact Information *
    Yahoo: darkslayer84@yahoo.com
    MSN: parham6@live.com
    Skype: parham649
    ooVoo: Parham6
    * Vouches (Trade Reputation) *
    Vouch #1 - RenardO went first, No Middleman: My Account => His Account
    Vouch #2 - Mr.StoneX went first, No Middleman: My Account => His uPlay+Steam Accounts

  4. #4
    Misery Jr.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Teamspeak
    Posts
    1,215
    Reputation
    247
    Thanks
    264
    My Mood
    Happy
    I really liked it!

    I liked how you had an explanation, some of them I failed to understand

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to Misery Jr. For This Useful Post:

    Reav3R (01-25-2014)

  6. #5
    Reav3R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Ж█R▓£▒λ░ν▒З▓Я█Ж
    Posts
    3,742
    Reputation
    205
    Thanks
    250
    My Mood
    Angelic
    Quote Originally Posted by Jacareverde View Post
    I really liked it!

    I liked how you had an explanation, some of them I failed to understand
    I know which ones you mean, but actually what I had in mind was different. I wanted each person to interpret it differently but I thought maybe I should post what I think myself along with it.
    * Contact Information *
    Yahoo: darkslayer84@yahoo.com
    MSN: parham6@live.com
    Skype: parham649
    ooVoo: Parham6
    * Vouches (Trade Reputation) *
    Vouch #1 - RenardO went first, No Middleman: My Account => His Account
    Vouch #2 - Mr.StoneX went first, No Middleman: My Account => His uPlay+Steam Accounts

  7. #6
    Rance-Sama's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Ice
    Posts
    6,337
    Reputation
    653
    Thanks
    8,058
    Quote Originally Posted by Reav3R View Post


    It's the reader that decides the ending, as they could be interpreted in different ways. Maybe it's your way of thinking that leads to you drawing the conclusion which involves suicide (is that even a sentence that I made?!).

    P.S.: Your avatar...?!
    Pretty sure "'round my neck a deathrope" and "Taking my last breath, I surrendered to fate" is implying suicide.

    My avatar is based around lunacy, don't draw misconceptions about it.

  8. #7
    Reav3R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Ж█R▓£▒λ░ν▒З▓Я█Ж
    Posts
    3,742
    Reputation
    205
    Thanks
    250
    My Mood
    Angelic
    Quote Originally Posted by AqworldThunder View Post
    Pretty sure "'round my neck a deathrope" and "Taking my last breath, I surrendered to fate" is implying suicide.

    My avatar is based around lunacy, don't draw misconceptions about it.
    "round my neck a deathrope" can also means that these problems are choking him like he's hanging myself, doesn't necessarily mean he commits suicide. It's a poem, don't take everything literally, try to read between the lines. "Taking my last breath, I surrendered to fate" could just mean that he won't keep fighting anymore. Again, I wrote it in a way so each person could come up with a different interpretation.
    Last edited by Reav3R; 01-25-2014 at 05:12 AM.
    * Contact Information *
    Yahoo: darkslayer84@yahoo.com
    MSN: parham6@live.com
    Skype: parham649
    ooVoo: Parham6
    * Vouches (Trade Reputation) *
    Vouch #1 - RenardO went first, No Middleman: My Account => His Account
    Vouch #2 - Mr.StoneX went first, No Middleman: My Account => His uPlay+Steam Accounts

  9. #8
    Misery Jr.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Teamspeak
    Posts
    1,215
    Reputation
    247
    Thanks
    264
    My Mood
    Happy
    Quote Originally Posted by Reav3R View Post


    I know which ones you mean, but actually what I had in mind was different. I wanted each person to interpret it differently but I thought maybe I should post what I think myself along with it.
    Ahhh I see! Anyways, continue making poems they're really good!

  10. The Following User Says Thank You to Misery Jr. For This Useful Post:

    Reav3R (01-25-2014)

  11. #9
    Anti's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Gender
    male
    Location
    here, sadly
    Posts
    6,625
    Reputation
    1354
    Thanks
    1,241
    These are real dark dude. Also there is nothing to misinterpret about your endings. I understand you think you are leading us down to a fork in the road, but we can read into things.
    @AqworldThunder is right. You need to try to be a bit more clever and make better, less emo endings.

  12. #10
    StunnahJD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Gender
    male
    Location
    F̷̲̅u̷̲̅C̷̲̅k̷̲̅ ̷̲̅U
    Posts
    1,051
    Reputation
    238
    Thanks
    3,813
    My Mood
    Bored
    It's good and does sound emo type.

  13. #11
    Reav3R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Gender
    male
    Location
    Ж█R▓£▒λ░ν▒З▓Я█Ж
    Posts
    3,742
    Reputation
    205
    Thanks
    250
    My Mood
    Angelic
    What's so wrong with emo endings?
    * Contact Information *
    Yahoo: darkslayer84@yahoo.com
    MSN: parham6@live.com
    Skype: parham649
    ooVoo: Parham6
    * Vouches (Trade Reputation) *
    Vouch #1 - RenardO went first, No Middleman: My Account => His Account
    Vouch #2 - Mr.StoneX went first, No Middleman: My Account => His uPlay+Steam Accounts

Similar Threads

  1. Poem/Lyrics: The Mercenary
    By Reav3R in forum General
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 01-25-2014, 12:52 AM
  2. The Deep Blue
    By Mr.Seyeko in forum Showroom
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 09-09-2011, 04:46 PM
  3. Deep Freeze is a rip off
    By Lehsyrus in forum WAR Inc Battlezone Hacks
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 08-20-2011, 05:41 AM
  4. CA is this DEEP
    By ChimiBang in forum Combat Arms Discussions
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 08-21-2010, 09:45 PM
  5. Deep Hole
    By Heath in forum Showroom
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 11-11-2009, 01:06 AM

Tags for this Thread