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  1. #1
    Cakesmuggler.png's Avatar
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    Something great happened to me today.

    >huge metal fan Definitely not copypasta
    >in high school still
    >Math class
    >9/10 girl sits next to me
    >turns me on so much
    >she doesn't notice me though
    >try really hard to impress her
    >she's so hot
    >teacher passing back last weeks test
    >9/10 looks over at me
    >starts smiling and playing with her hair
    >im spinning
    >i can't handle it
    >teacher trips over me
    >i break down
    >i stop spinning
    >9/10 frowns
    >looks back at the front of the room
    >im trying hard to keep cool
    >i have no power
    >Teacher plugs me back in
    >start spinning again
    >i am a huge metal fan

  2. #2
    droppy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cakesmuggler.png View Post
    >huge metal fan Definitely not copypasta
    >in high school still
    >Math class
    >9/10 girl sits next to me
    >turns me on so much
    >she doesn't notice me though
    >try really hard to impress her
    >she's so hot
    >teacher passing back last weeks test
    >9/10 looks over at me
    >starts smiling and playing with her hair
    >im spinning
    >i can't handle it
    >teacher trips over me
    >i break down
    >i stop spinning
    >9/10 frowns
    >looks back at the front of the room
    >im trying hard to keep cool
    >i have no power
    >Teacher plugs me back in
    >start spinning again
    >i am a huge metal fan

     


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    Droppiest Mudda Trucka Around since October 5th, 2012
    Donator since March 30th, 2013

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    Coldfrye (04-30-2014),curkill (05-01-2014)

  4. #3
    Jubs's Avatar
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    Wait what?

  5. #4
    Cakesmuggler.png's Avatar
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    Anyone like stories from 4chan? I've got plenty.

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    Genesis (05-01-2014),Yotsuba (05-01-2014)

  7. #5
    Cakesmuggler.png's Avatar
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    >at work about halfway through shift
    >I'm me in case you didn't know
    >Slow day so I'm having conversation in my head with imaginary friends
    >I guess I wasn't breathing so I let out a small moan
    >girl I work with looks over at me and smirks
    >forget about it
    >after shift ends at my locker grabbing my shit
    >girl comes up to me with that same smirk
    >leans in close and whispers in my ear
    >"Do you wear a butt plug to work too?"
    >give her a weird look grab my shit and get out of there

  8. The Following User Says Thank You to Cakesmuggler.png For This Useful Post:

    Jubs (04-30-2014)

  9. #6
    Cakesmuggler.png's Avatar
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    >Shitty art gallery thing at high school
    >Its formal, so I wear a suit
    >GF sees me walk in
    >She fucking melts
    >Spaghetti in her pockets, looks at me as if I am a god
    >People complement me for the rest of the night
    >Whats up anon, hey anon, looking good anon, you look great in a suit anon
    >Feel like a god damn alpha for the whole night
    >Normally a shitty halfway between alpha and beta
    >Power of the suit

  10. #7
    Rance-Sama's Avatar
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    >op is a faggot

  11. #8
    Cakesmuggler.png's Avatar
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    These are weaksauce, I'll find the better ones.

  12. #9
    Euphemistic's Avatar
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    > NO ONE CARES.

  13. #10
    Cakesmuggler.png's Avatar
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    > be me, 11
    > friend comes in excited
    > tells me he's hyped for new Samsung phone
    > brief chill comes over room, ignore it
    > sees me on my iPhone
    > shrieks like a banshee and calls me a homosexual iSheep
    > smacks phone out of my hand
    > wtf?
    > starts stomping it into a pulp
    > gaze upon my destroyed iPhone
    > friend laughs menacingly
    > sky gets dark
    > room becomes freezing
    > suddenly, the wall explodes
    > in the apple-shaped hole is Steve Jobs, naked
    > glares at both of us
    > growls "time to revolutionize"
    > leaps towards my friend
    > friend screams and tries to run, but to no avail
    > Steve grabs friend's dick and tears it off
    > friend falls on ground incapacitated
    > Steve takes iPad from his asshole and starts beating friend with it
    > friend is covered in bruises, iOS apps and Steve Jobs' shit
    > Steve rolls friend over onto his stomach
    > whips out his half inch thick iPenis
    > starts anus fucking friend
    > watch as friend's poop chute slowly widens, and blood drips from within
    > friend whimpers
    > Steve moans "retina displayYyYyYyYyYyY!!!!" as his steaming iJizz flows into my friends rectum
    > I was standing behind the whole time


    Other half cumming

  14. #11
    Cakesmuggler.png's Avatar
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    Part 2:

    > Steve rapidly snaps his head back 180 degrees to stare into my eyes
    > I know what's cumming
    > Steve's limbs bend backward, and he drags friend's ravaged body into himself
    > the two morph into each other, becoming a horrifying beast
    > Steve-friend combo leaps onto me
    > dick has become attached to leg, so it's now three feet long and two feet wide
    > some unknown force pushes me onto my hands and knees
    > Steve-friend's leg-cock punches through my pants and info my iPod shuffle-sized virgin bootyhole
    > pain is unbearable
    > I shriek and writhe, but it's useless
    > Steve-friend puts a combo finger/penis into my lips
    > whispers "shhh, Touch ID"
    > with one final, mighty thrust his leg-cock bursts from my throat
    > I see it right in front of my eyes, covered in poop, blood, and iCum
    > Steve-friend retracts dick hybrid
    > looks down at my torn apart body
    > all I could make out before dying from bodily trauma is him saying "looks like iWrecked you"
    > Steve is revolution, Steve is innovation

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  16. #12
    Anti's Avatar
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  18. #13
    Pepsi Cola's Avatar
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    Can't believe I voted you for Pharaoh...


  19. #14
    Josh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pepsi Cola View Post
    Can't believe I voted you for Pharaoh...
    PS: We're not actually voting for this guy
    PPS: It's someone else
    PPPS: You have to guess

     
    Official Middleman since: 30 January 2014
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dave84311 View Post
    I apologize to anyone who I have called autistic, for this is the most autistic thing I have ever seen. Thanks gbot.
    Quote Originally Posted by arunforce View Post
    You're the cancer of the marketplace. Someone vouch for me. +1


  20. #15
    I like her, She likes him, He likes me. How about you?
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    Then good for you faggot.




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