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  1. #1
    Expert at leaving women disappointed physically and emotionally.
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    Austrian priest claims The Devil texted him mean things after failed excorcism

    https://bloody-disgusting.com/news/33...iled-exorcism/

    Father Marian Rajchel is a Polish priest who was unsuccessful in his recent attempt to exorcise the demon from a teenage girl. They don’t offer any details regarding what went wrong with the exorcism, so I’m not sure what happened there. What I am sure of is that ambiguity will only make it easier for Hollywood to take creative license with the movie this story will inevitably eventually be turned into.

    The Austrian Times reports that Rajchel was attacked via text messages following the botched exorcism. The source of these foul texts? Satan. Obviously.

    One of the texts read “She will not come out of this hell. She’s mine. Anyone who prays for her will die.”

    Now, I was unsure of all this until I read that. The only evidence you need to confirm this story’s validity comes from how eloquent that text is. Nary a shortcut was taken or emoticon abused. That was clearly sent from a demonic spirit, because I’m positive no human is capable of doing that these days.

    After a few prayers, the priest replied to the text and received the following response: “Shut up, preacher. You cannot save yourself. Idiot. You pathetic old preacher.”

    :V

    DAMN IMAGINE THE FEE'S YOU MUST GETTING GETTING TEXTS FROM HELL

    Real talk I wonder whose Satans service provider
     
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  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ecstasy View Post
    Real talk I wonder whose Satans service provider
    AT&T no doubt
    Vouch thread





     

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  3. #3
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    its obviously true, he is a priest >_>

  4. #4
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    The devil phoned me 2 mins ago and told me that he never texted this guy. His service provider is strange called O&PFaggot

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  6. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Medzentax View Post
    The devil phoned me 2 mins ago and told me that he never texted this guy. His service provider is strange called O&PFaggot
    Whos alt are you?

    "Dab is a Shitposting Retard" - Boombox 2016
     


  7. #6
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    Georgian Priest claimed Devil texts hims everynight. Shit like that happens in Georgia 24/7 <3 Jesus saves our ases amen

  8. #7
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    Lucifer txt me and said ya'll niggas trippin'.

  9. #8
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    number or it never happened
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  10. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Assistive View Post


    Whos alt are you?
    Devil's alt.

  11. #10
    Niku ・( ̄∀ ̄)・'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reav3R View Post
    number or it never happened
    666
    lel
    "Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harms we do, we do to ourselves."-Mitch Albom

  12. #11
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    In his press conference satan said that people should stop impersonating him

  13. #12
    Aborted's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Poison View Post
    In his press conference satan said that people should stop impersonating him
    Exactly, the shit gets annoying.
    I know I'm popular, but man.
    I am the seer in the dark,
    the vagabond of yore,
    valediction.
    I am the sum of all your parts,
    and proprietor of all.
    A miasma,
    the conclusion,
    blackmonger of Inlé,
    valediction.
    Synapses fray,
    my form now vivid,
    as torpor sets and blood grows tepid.
    With every ounce of flesh now offered,
    I hold your corpse within my coffers.
    Knitted cells now split asunder,
    stand alongside me brother.
    Take your place amongst my Owsla,
    we march at dawn now and forever.


  14. #13
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    Let's all pray for her and see who dies first.

  15. #14
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  16. #15
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    I'm guessing the news report is fake

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