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  1. #1
    Not an Asian's Avatar
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    Grammar nazis i need your help!

    can someone go over this and pin point every grammar mistake you can find it would help me a lot :3 i know there are a lot.

    After reading A Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel Garcia Marquez I did not realize the importance of a woman's role could have played a huge part in Santiago Nasar's death. The interactive oral helped me form better ideas that I did not have before. This interactive oral helped me rationalize reasons why Santiago was killed and helped me understand why the Vicario brothers' wanted to murder Santiago.
    After the interactive oral I realized that culture could have played an important role in A Chronicle of a Death Foretold. I did not know that honor killing was a big cultural thing in Columbia. The fact that honor is highly important to the people led me to believe that Angela Vicario could have easily planted the blame on Santiago because she plotted to kill Santiago due to his womanizing nature. Another theory that could have happened was that Angela was protecting the person she actually lost her virginity to, she probably loved the man who took her virginity so she used Santiago Nasar as a scapegoat so her lover would not take the blame. After putting together the possibilities of what could have happened, I believe that Angela lost her virginity to another man and simply used Santiago as a scapegoat because she did not like Santiago's womanizing personality. My theory suggests that Angela made a win-win situation for herself.
    An unknown point that I discussed in the interactive oral was that Santiago could be considered a Christ figure because of how he died. He was stabbed in the palm, slashed in the stomach, and was pinned to the door by the blades. This scene is almost an exact depiction of how Jesus was crucified on the cross. This addition of religious ideals could be connected to how Columbia was a place that revolved around Christianity or Catholicism. We can also relate the priest as part of the Christ figure theory because maybe if he was not distracted by the bishop's visit maybe Santiago would have been able to escape and not die by the Vicario brothers' hands.
    Last edited by Not an Asian; 10-09-2014 at 06:58 PM.





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    Assistive's Avatar
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    Proof read yourself you lazy cunt.

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    HellBound's Avatar
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    I'll do it for a fee, I take PayPal.

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    Not an Asian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Assistive View Post
    Proof read yourself you lazy cunt.
    lel i just read it 4 more times fixed a lot of stuff i didnt see.


    Quote Originally Posted by HellBound View Post
    I'll do it for a fee, I take PayPal.
    ill give you a dolla





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    Quote Originally Posted by HellBound View Post
    I'll do it for a fee, I take PayPal.
    You take PayPal?
    Grammar nazi detected.

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    Here you go: (Only pay me if you think it's okay) I removed a few redundancies, errors, etc.


    After reading A Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, I never realized the huge part a woman's role could have played in Santiago Nasar's death. The interactive oral helped me form better ideas that I did not have before. It helped me rationalize reasons why Santiago was killed and helped me understand why the Vicario brothers' wanted to murder Santiago.

    After the interactive oral, I realized that culture could have played an important role in A Chronicle of a Death Foretold. I did not know that honor killing was a big cultural thing in Columbia. The fact that honor is highly important to the people led me to believe that Angela Vicario could have easily planted the blame on Santiago because she plotted to kill Santiago due to his womanizing nature. Another theory is that Angela was protecting the person she actually lost her virginity to; she probably loved the man who took her virginity so she used Santiago Nasar as a scapegoat so her lover would not take the blame.


    After putting together the possibilities of what could have happened, I believe that Angela lost her virginity to another man and simply used Santiago as a scapegoat because she did not like Santiago's womanizing personality. My theory suggests that Angela made a win-win situation for herself.

    An unknown point that I discussed in the interactive oral was that Santiago could be considered a Christ figure because of how he died. He was stabbed in the palm, slashed in the stomach, and was pinned to the door by the blades. This scene is almost an exact depiction of how Jesus was crucified on the cross. This addition of religious ideals could be connected to how Columbia was a place that revolved around Christianity or Catholicism. We can also relate the priest as part of the Christ figure theory because maybe if he were not distracted by the bishop's visit, Santiago would have been able to escape and not die by the Vicario brothers' hands.
    Last edited by HellBound; 10-09-2014 at 07:30 PM.

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    Not an Asian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HellBound View Post
    Here you go: (Only pay me if you think it's okay) I removed a few redundancies, errors, etc.

    After reading 'A Chronicle of a Death Foretold' by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, I never realized the huge parta woman's role could have played in Santiago Nasar's death. The interactive oral helped me form better ideas that I did not have before. It helped me rationalize reasons why Santiago was killed and helped me understand why the Vicario brothers' wanted to murder Santiago.

    After the interactive oral, I realized that culture could have played an important role in 'A Chronicle of a Death Foretold'. I did not know that honor killing was a big cultural thing in Columbia. The fact that honor is highly important to the people led me to believe that Angela Vicario could have easily planted the blame on Santiago because she plotted to kill Santiago due to his womanizing nature. Another theory is that Angela was protecting the person she actually lost her virginity to; she probably loved the man who took her virginity so she used Santiago Nasar as a scapegoat so her lover would not take the blame.


    After putting together the possibilities of what could have happened, I believe that Angela lost her virginity to another man and simply used Santiago as a scapegoat because she did not like Santiago's womanizing personality. My theory suggests that Angela made a win-win situation for herself.

    An unknown point that I discussed in the interactive oral was that Santiago could be considered a Christ figure because of how he died. He was stabbed in the palm, slashed in the stomach, and was pinned to the door by the blades. This scene is almost an exact depiction of how Jesus was crucified on the cross. This addition of religious ideals could be connected to how Columbia was a place that revolved around Christianity or Catholicism. We can also relate the priest as part of the Christ figure theory because maybe if he were not distracted by the bishop's visit Santiago would have been able to escape and not die by the Vicario brothers' hands.
    don't you italicize book titles?





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    Quote Originally Posted by asianmudkip View Post


    don't you italicize book titles?
    Yes, but who does that? I always put single or double commas. Check this out:

    If you refer to a title (e.g. of a book or film etc.) in your text it should be clear that it is a title. You do this by placing it in inverted commas. In titles, main words usually start with a capital letter.
    Practice
    Example 'The Student Skills Guide' (Drew and Bingham 2001) includes guidance on study skills.
    Note. You must reference other people's work correctly.

    Source: https://universitywriting.shu.ac.uk/p...e/s_double.htm

    PS
    I edited the text so look at it again.

  11. #9
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    Fix title please. Capitalize I, then I'll read the wall of text.

  12. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by HellBound View Post
    Here you go: (Only pay me if you think it's okay) I removed a few redundancies, errors, etc.


    After reading A Chronicle of a Death Foretold by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, I never realized the huge part a woman's role could have played in Santiago Nasar's death. The interactive oral helped me form better ideas that I never had before. It helped me rationalize reasons why Santiago was killed and helped me understand why the Vicario brothers' wanted to murder Santiago.

    After the interactive oral, I realized that culture could have played an important role in A Chronicle of a Death Foretold. I did not know that honor killing was a big cultural thing in Columbia. The fact that honor is highly important to the people led me to believe that Angela Vicario could have easily planted the blame on Santiago because she plotted to kill Santiago due to his womanizing nature. Another theory is that Angela was protecting the person she actually lost her virginity to; she probably loved the man who took her virginity so she used Santiago Nasar as a scapegoat so her lover would not take the blame.


    After putting together the possibilities of what could have happened, I believe that Angela lost her virginity to another man and simply used Santiago as a scapegoat because she did not like Santiago's womanizing personality. My theory suggests that Angela made a win-win situation for herself.

    An unknown point that I discussed in the interactive oral was that Santiago could be considered a Christ figure because of how he died. He was stabbed in the palm, slashed in the stomach, and was pinned to the door by the blades. This scene is almost an exact depiction of how Jesus was crucified on the cross. This addition of religious ideals could be connected to how Columbia was a place that revolved around Christianity or Catholicism. We can also relate the priest as part of the Christ figure theory because maybe if he were not distracted by the bishop's visit, Santiago would have been able to escape and not die by the Vicario brothers' hands.

    Still a shit ton of errors in this one as well. Too lazy to edit it right now, but learn to proofread your own shit. Will make life a lot easier, and honestly isn't difficult.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Deflorate. View Post



    Still a shit ton of errors in this one as well. Too lazy to edit it right now, but learn to proofread your own shit. Will make life a lot easier, and honestly isn't difficult.
    FFFFUUUUUU I wasn't even trying, just put it in Word and changed it a little. Like you, I'm not only lazy, I'm also a tired person (suffer from chronic fatigue).
    Last edited by HellBound; 10-10-2014 at 03:31 AM.

  14. #12
    Deflorate.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by HellBound View Post
    FFFFUUUUUU I wasn't even trying, just put it in Word and changed it a little. Like you, I'm not only lazy, I'm also a tired person (suffer from chronic fatigue).
    If you wanna cry about being tired, I have an extreme case of insomnia and my schedule is 6 - 7 days up at a time.

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    HellBound's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Deflorate. View Post


    If you wanna cry about being tired, I have an extreme case of insomnia and my schedule is 6 - 7 days up at a time.
    Meh, I got a chronic headache too, for which I will be getting an MRI, EEG, etc.

  16. #14
    TheFrikinAsian's Avatar
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    Pretty sure you can find some free website that does this for you...

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    Here are the corrections I made. I changed a few of the words for other ones which fit better in my opinion. I've underlined all the changes that I have made.

    After reading 'A Chronicle of a Death Foretold' by Gabriel Garcia Marquez I did not realize that the importance of a woman's role could have influenced Santiago Nasar's death in such a large manner. The interactive oral helped me form better ideas that I did not have before. This helped me rationalize reasons why Santiago was killed and helped me to understand why the Vicario brothers' wanted to murder Santiago.

    Following the interactive oral, I came to the conclusion that culture could have played another important role in 'A Chronicle of a Death Foretold'. I did not know that honor killing was a large part of the culture of in Columbia. The fact that honor is highly important to the people led me to believe that Angela Vicario could have easily planted the blame on Santiago because she had plotted to kill Santiago due to his philandering nature. Another theory that could have occurred was that Angela was protecting the person she actually lost her virginity to, she probably loved the man who took her virginity so she incriminated Santiago Nasar so her lover would not take the blame.

    Subsequent to putting together the possibilities of what could have happened, I believe that Angela lost her virginity to another man and simply reproached Santiago because she did not like Santiago's philandering personality. My theory suggests that Angela planned the series of events so that they would be beneficial and rewarding situation for herself.

    Another point which remains unrecognized is the possibility that Santiago could be considered a Christ figure because of how he died. In the interactive oral, I discussed how was stabbed in the palm, slashed in the stomach, and was pinned to the door by the blades. This scene is exceptionally similar to the depiction of how Jesus was crucified on the cross. This addition of religious ideals could be connected to how Columbia was a area whose culture revolved around Christianity or Catholicism. The priest can also be related to a part of the Christ figure theory because there is a possibility that if he was not distracted by the Bishop's visit, Santiago would have been able to escape and may not have been killed by the Vicario brothers' hands.

    Hope I've helped.


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