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  1. #1
    Gixxer's Avatar
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    Valentines Day Tragedy

    huzlers dot com/valentines-day-tragedy-teen-masturbated-56-times-straight-dying-heart-attack/

    Happened last year - hopefully not this year!

    Valentines Day Tragedy: Teen Masturbated 56 Times Straight Before Dying of Heart Attack


    PORTLAND – Valentines Day ended in tragedy for a Portland teenager after he apparently masturbated a world record, jaw-dropping 56 times non-stop before dying of a heart attack. Jerome Carpenter was found dead in his bedroom after apparently masturbating too much. It is speculated that Jerome was suffering from depression due to being “extremely lonely” on Valentines Day.

    Jerome’s Mother called Portland police after discovering his corpse in his room. Jerome’s mother told Huzler reporters “1 hour passed since I had called him down for lunch, Jerome was the kind of boy to steal food off your plate when you were not looking, i knew something was wrong when he didn’t come down to eat, he was a great kid” she finished as she began to cry.

    Police arrived at the home about an hour after Ms. Carpenter called them. Officer Dean Marrow told Huzler reporters what they saw when they opened Jerome’s bedroom door. “The young man was on his bed… his pen*s was detached from his body, it must have been so intense it just came off his body, we found his pen*s gripped in his left hand so tightly we couldn’t get it out, it was tragic”.

    Investigators are still investigating the case for more information, Jerome’s funeral will take place sometime next week.

  2. #2
    Azathᴏth's Avatar
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    Hold on. So he masturbated 56 times in the span of an hour, before ripping his dick off and dying of a heart attack. Do I have everything.

  3. #3
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    Makes me cringe.

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    Brings a whole new meaning to the term "Ripping the head off it".

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    Another kid who died from masturbating so much.
    Forever alone lvl 9000
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    May he rest in peace
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  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Azathᴏth View Post
    Hold on. So he masturbated 56 times in the span of an hour, before ripping his dick off and dying of a heart attack. Do I have everything.
    I think it is a Valentine Hoax. How can anyone do it each time almost every minute is beyond me...

  9. #9
    Dave's Mexican's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by olympicwiz View Post
    I think it is a Valentine Hoax. How can anyone do it each time almost every minute is beyond me...
    it is.
    Huzler was the same news company that started the "teen kills over flappy bird" hoax.





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    Fake, take a look at their headlines.


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  14. #13
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    i aim for 57 this year



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    So he did it for >1 minute...

    Is that even possible?


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