This is a big update because I was gone yesterday for a wedding and today for a birthday party
-It was a Chinese wedding *No I'm not chinese, they were friends* It honestly was the funniest/funnest wedding of my life. *I go to a shitload of weddings cuz of my father*.
-So it was a chinese tradition that the men weren't allowed inside the house until some games were played, but first things the husband came without a shirt on.
-So they had to eat something sweet, sour, bitter and I forgot the last thing to represent the 4 stuff of marriage. Then they had to dance and sing, and kiss which lips were his wife on a piece of paper that the bridesmaid kissed on. *Each time they got something wrong they were waxed. Since the white guy was the only one with body hair he was waxed the most and he said "Is this why you invited me to the wedding for?!?! To take all the punishment!".
-Next they had to pop all the balloons with no arms/legs. Funniest thing ever.
-Went to a marygoround for pictures, and holy shit it was sooo fucking hot.
*Note this that the husband has been drinking all day*
-We get to the wedding reception, its beautiful. Things get done, people eat, best man and bridesmaids tell their funny stories. I liked the groom because at the end he yelled "King of the North!" and all the guys started yelling that. The bridesmaid made a remix rap version of "Fresh prince of bel air". was cool and all.
-Best part was the throwing of the bouquet and garter toss. Cuz the catcher of the garter just started stripping and shit.
-Now remember that note I said of the husband drinking? yea during midway of the wedding he was end of the party type of drunk. But I am pretty sure he survived.
Yea was a fun ass wedding, best one yet not gunna lie.
Now next day is a friends birthday, they went to an all you can eat buffet, I didn't go because I was tired as fuck and came home super late because of the wedding. But I met them after they ate and his house and we just sort of chilled. Two of them were ended up getting slapped by another friend with a belt that was funny. Just did some games and chilled thats all. Watched some Olympics too.
I ate shitload of chicken wings with barbecue sauce cuz goddam those shit are good as fucking fuck. Aww dude best was the chocolate ice cream cake with whip cream UGH bro I'm in love with that shit.
Todays Random Story
(This was found online on yahoo answers)
"Will my turtle die if I suck it's penis?
I was looking at my turtle yesterday evening. and I wondered if it would like to be pleasured in "that way". I picked it up and started talking to it. I really like him. I guess i'm into stuff like him. anyways, I was stroking it's private parts, and he opened his mouth. He looked like he was enjoying it. i want to go to the next level of our relationship, but I'm scared if I perform oral sex on Kimmy, he will die?