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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land!
God created humans but Chuck Norris created god
Chuck Norris doesn't chew gum. Chuck Norris chews tin foil.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
When Chuck Norris walks into water, he doesn't get wet; the water gets Chuck Norris-ed.