Man Dies After Pit Bull Bites Off His Testicles

[bowlcut]

MILAN, ITALY – Yes, you read that right. Seems as if the pit bull isn’t content with mass murder in the US and have started their well-planned murder spree in other countries.

Many people I know are well-informed on the dangers of pit bulls and their insatiable lust for human blood. But a man in Italy didn’t find this out until one of his two pit bulls chewed off his balls.

Firefighters found the 30-year-old man inside his apartment after his girlfriend, who hadn’t heard from him, called and asked them to perform a welfare check. She explained that he was a chronic diabetic and may have suffered a medical emergency preventing him from calling for help.

Once firefighters got inside the man’s apartment, they found him laying on the floor unconscious. He had lost a lot of blood from a severe injury caused by one of his two pit bulls chowing down on his yam bag. The man was rushed to the hospital in serious condition, but it is now being reported that he died from his injuries yesterday morning.

It is not known if the man had passed out from realizing his dog just popped off his balls, or if his testicles were removed after he’d already fell unconscious. I can only pray for the latter scenario, but I know how pit bulls think. I have no doubt the dog gobbled the gonads while the man was alert, then waited until he was weak from blood loss before tea-bagging the man with his own testicles.

 

I know there will be people that get all defensive about me talking bad about pit bulls. Well shut up. Nobody wants to hear it, nobody cares. You know why? Because I am trying to save you people! Do you not see that the end times have begun as told by the Bible?

Revelation 9:1 “And the fifth angel sounded, and I saw a star fall from heaven unto the earth: and to him was given the key to the Pits.“

Revelation 9:2 “And he let loose the Pits; and there arose a smoke from the mouths of the Pits, as the smoke of a great furnace; and the sun and the air were darkened by reason of the smoke from the Pits.“

Revelation 9:4 “And it was commanded them that they should not hurt the grass of the earth, neither any green thing, neither any tree; but only eat the loins of the wicked and slay their children with claw and gnashing teeth.”

So a hearty “fuck you” to those of you who doubt my true intentions when reporting on these beasts. My only crime is that I care about you, dear reader, and do not want you to burn in eternal Hellfire.

[Assistive]

No pics? wtf...

[bowlcut]

No pics? wtf...

Couldn't find any.

[HeroicXPharaoh]

Pitbull has balls..

[Lauritz]

shiiiiiit.

[Polonium]

What a rotten way to die...

[Scotia]

I'm guessing this is you're new thing huh? Posting stuff about bad ways to die, keep it up, I'm enjoying it.

[bowlcut]

I'm guessing this is you're new thing huh? Posting stuff about bad ways to die, keep it up, I'm enjoying it.

I was going to start doing this a long time ago, and actually include a couple of stories in each MPGH news thing.
That woulda taken up too much time and resources to sort shit out (no pictures, articles may be too short, make an entire new section just for these stories, getting more people on the team, etc.)
So, I dunno. I just decided to start doing this yesterday, and I seem to enjoy it.
And not every story will be about death. Just gruesome shit, sometimes stupid shit. Whatever.

[Scotia]

I was going to start doing this a long time ago, and actually include a couple of stories in each MPGH news thing.
That woulda taken up too much time and resources to sort shit out (no pictures, articles may be too short, make an entire new section just for these stories, getting more people on the team, etc.)
So, I dunno. I just decided to start doing this yesterday, and I seem to enjoy it.
And not every story will be about death. Just gruesome shit, sometimes stupid shit. Whatever.

Gruesome shit, I like the sound of that

[Terrified]

Die's with out balls, that is some interested way to die.

[iSmexy]

i wanted a picture

[*Firefly]

That's a bad way to go

[Boombox]

Why would you little rats want to see pics of this?

[Bernard]

Jesus that must have been painful.

[DarkLordXYZ]

why WOULDN'T they

Why would you little rats want to see pics of this?