Something i wrote tell me what yall think

[ShAg12345]

hey heres something i wrote i know some parts are a lill ehhhh but tell me what yall think i except all types of critizism so yea haha

[[MPGH]Killian]

omgawd.

too lazy to watch.
someone summarize?

[ShAg12345]

haah its only like a min man lmao

[Krypton1x]

You need a little more emotion. Good lyrics though.

[CRUSTY]

They're songs...

[ShAg12345]

little more emotion yea i will but its like 11 30 at night and my dads sleeping so idk i will redo it in the morning tomorro and put emotion in it but thanks tho man

[Jabuuty671]

I believe this it the correct section
https://www.mpgh.net/forum/192-poetry...a-rap-stories/
You sound like a white guy trying to rap
/
Needs a beat and more emotion
it's like your whipsering into your mic because mommy's in the other room and cussing is bad for you
and it's not except it's accept as in
except is like, otherwise

It's okay but, needs work
I didn't really get any moral out of it / didn't really understand

[Unsuccessful]

TL;DR .

[Krypton1x]

TL;DR .

What the fuck does that mean?

[ShAg12345]

hum ok but yea i had to be quiet haha cause if my dad heard me hed get mad so i will redo it agin tomorro when hes at work so its sounds bettter plus its like 11 30 here when i did it so yep he woulda get hella mad if he herd me ahah and i woke him up hah but i will work on everything you all tell me

[Jabuuty671]

What the fuck does that mean?

Too Long, Didn't Read--

hum ok but yea i had to be quiet haha cause if my dad heard me hed get mad so i will redo it agin tomorro when hes at work so its sounds bettter plus its like 11 30 here when i did it so yep he woulda get hella mad if he herd me ahah and i woke him up hah but i will work on everything you all tell me

Okay Shag, post it in the other section next time.
and just put the link in your post:
YouTube - Kanaal van rest of code here
it will automatically embed, no need to click that Youtube button on the top settings / paste the embed code

[ShAg12345]

ok thanks man but were the lyrics good and stuff?

[Rvn]

Its orite. Lyrics are orite. Now you needa beat.

[ShAg12345]

true ahah i do need a beat but i cant find any ones i like ha
and thank you very much =)

[Jabuuty671]

true ahah i do need a beat but i cant find any ones i like ha
and thank you very much =)

MusicShake /
make your own beat using MusicShake
It's hella easy and customizable