Originally Posted by
Niet
I know that I've had a great evening as I wake up early and wonder how I got home.
Wobbling off to the kitchen I realize that I'm still drunk. Pour a liter of water down my throat and go back to bed just to remember a little mess I made yesterday. Nothing serious so it's alright. I might get a slap or two later on but it still feels good.
It's really not like me to step on peoples toes but resently I stopped caring for some reason. I don't know why.
Life is just so dull anyway and lately I've been searching for ways to simply endure it. Pushing myself a little, to see how far I really can go at work, with my own body at training, with other people pushing their buttons, pushing my own limits.
I've never minded to do anything with my life so the past ten years have been a gray mass, doing what I'm supposed to do with no vision of a future, only seeing my limitations. I guess that it has brought me to a point where I'm desperate for some kind of disruption and I have been doing stupid things. I've seen that kind of behavior in others as well and I guess that this is a common phase for a lot of people.
I would go ahead and say that a lot of the members here do the exact same thing and I'm wondering what has brought you to this point. Are you able to point out a certain incident or did life itself slowly force you to it? I could point some things out but I mainly think that this has been a very slow process for me since I was a child and started reflecting over my surroundings.
I also wonder when one is able to leave this phase and find some sort of a balance in life, somewhere between being restrained and a provocative cunt.
I'd like to give this text a smooth ending but I have really bad cravings for pizza, so I'll just leave it here and walk to the store.