Its Time...

[Assistive]

Over the past week or so I have been talking about the stuff I do with my girlfriend. I talked about how we have sex all the time and got high in the woods. I talked about how I don't like to use condoms when I have sex with her because I can't feel anything. The list can keep going but I feel that this is a good place to end it. The truth is I don't have a girlfriend. I'm a 19 year old virgin that gets off to watching people get rape. The only thing that I have had sex with are my hands. My hands were the ones that are there for me when I get hard. My hands were there when I saw my first internet porno. My hands are there when I need to make a sandwich. My hands are always there for me. My hands don't reject me, they love me. That is why I feel that I will never need a girlfriend ever. My hands can do almost all that a girl can do and I don't have to cuddle with them after sex.

I have decided that the time in my life has come and I proposed to my hands last night. They were so shocked that no words were said, but instead we had sex. I'm taking that as a yes. I have set up a wedding date for January 5, 2014 and all of MPGH is invited. Please feel free to invite any of your friends or family, all are welcome to this magical event.

I want to give a huge thanks to
@Dave84311
@Hero
@arunforce
@Liz
For making it all possible.

I would also like to mention 2 people that never flamed me
@Aborted
-and-
@Brinley

Now for the haters:
@HeroicXPharaoh
@iTzSeyeko
@unknownartist0
@thingHACKER
@Lightning
@Ahmad