Dealing with anxiety

[Misery Jr.]

So this story is one I've handwritten and gotten an A for my advanced writing class. And I'd like to know what you guys think of it.
I realize I'm posting this on a Multiplayer hacking site but it's really the only forums I actually pay attention to and talk to.
This is personal and real, I know some of you are going to be judgmental. So if you know you're like that there's no real point of you reading it.
(This was roughly translated from Portugese)

When I was diagnosed with severe anxiety at the age of 9 I was like ok then no big deal.
But it's only recently I've realized how bad it was so here goes.
My parents worked up until 6pm from 8am every day. I'd go to school, wait 3 hours for them to come back. If they were 2 minutes late I'd freak out. I'd start calling them, became nervous and such. This was every day.
They'd have to get home at exactly the time they'd say. 1 minute later I would start panicking.
Once they got home at 6.30 and when they got home I was sitting there on the couch curled up and sobbing my eyes out. I don't know what came over me but I know I hated it. I would always worry about something happening to them. Wherever they went. If they went to the local grocery store to just buy some fruit, they'd tell me to wait inside the car (usually because whenever I use to go the the store I'd ask for them to buy something for me all the time) so I'd wait.
3 Minutes: Nothing
4 Minutes: I'd start sweating and becoming nervous
5 Minutes: I'd start calling her mobile
6 Minutes: I started sweating, becoming nervous and begin to grow paranoid that something happened.
Minutes felt like hours. I'm sorry I don't really know how to explain it well.
-Note that was every single day and every time they left me alone even for 10mins-
There was that and there were the random panic attacks.
My mum got home early at 4pm so I was happy. Then out of nowhere I had a panic attack, I started crying, sweating being paranoid. I kept saying something bad is happening, I forced my parents to call my relatives in Brazil. Turns out that my grandpa was diagnosed with prostate cancer 30mins before.

-3 years later I was diagnosed with depression-
This bit wasn't as bad as my anxiety as by then I was already medicated.
This one I just lost all my friends and started getting bullied. Everyone hated me for leaving them, but they never knew what I was going through. I had no one to talk to, I was alone, no friends, my family are academic freaks so they gave little attention to depression and such.

-1 year later-
I lost it.
I got sick and tired of the ring leader (the guys who bullied me)
I broke 3 ribs, shattered his eye socket and broke his nose.
I felt bad so I bought him the latest COD because I knew he liked it.
I met this girl who also took shit from everyone and it looked like she didn't even care. I asked her how she did it and she said "A normal person is shaped by how they're treated, people like you and me usually turn out to be assholes. But why be treated like nothing and be an asshole and treat everyone how we're treated or be nice and not let anyone face what we've faced"(something like that)
She died of leukemia 4 months later.
-6 months ago-
My doctor found out that my anxiety moved to be my depression and then turned into bipolar depression.
I've been pretty heavily medicated
Have to visit a mental health professional once a week
But my life did change, I have a brighter outlook on life, knowing that I try not let anyone face what I've faced. Hoping that nobody ever has to.

-1 week ago-
I did weed once. I loved it but I stopped because of recent events.

-Now-
I got a scholarship to a college of football which is all I've ever wanted and yea

Thank you for reading

[HalfBajan]

Uhhh... I think the spoiler's fucked... I can't click on it

Okay just read it, seems like you have it pretty bad man! I have pretty extreme anxiety and panic attacks too... I haven't
told anyone since I've learnt how to control it but it can get pretty fucking scary!

[Misery Jr.]

Uhhh... I think the spoiler's fucked... I can't click on it

Yea I just got rid of it

[Misery Jr.]

Uhhh... I think the spoiler's fucked... I can't click on it

Okay just read it, seems like you have it pretty bad man! I have pretty extreme anxiety and panic attacks too... I haven't
told anyone since I've learnt how to control it but it can get pretty fucking scary!

Problem is that I learnt how to control it, but it went from that to depression then to bipolar depression. It changes.

[[MPGH]Hennessy]

skimmed. Not many will take this seriously.

mpgh general isn't the most ideal place to put this.

[Misery Jr.]

skimmed. Not many will take this seriously.

mpgh general isn't the most ideal place to put this.

I know, but it's just me telling people going through tough times, showing them that it's not over. There's always a silver lining

[Gray]

I know, but it's just me telling people going through tough times, showing them that it's not over. There's always a silver lining

There's never a silver lining, nothing ever gets better.
It gradually gets worse, decline gets worse.

Are you sure it's "better"? I doubt you think it is if you think about it long and hard.

[Bernard]

Interesting read

[CubeGen]

WoW. Well all i can say is never put your head down and keep fighting in life. There are going to be a lot of challenges that u will need to win. And don't listen to what other people say :/

[Misery Jr.]

There's never a silver lining, nothing ever gets better.
It gradually gets worse, decline gets worse.

Are you sure it's "better"? I doubt you think it is if you think about it long and hard.

Bipolar is (in my opinion) a lot less worse than anxiety, my heart goes out to those who have anxiety. It is one hell and you'll get through it.
At least bipolar with the highs, you feel pretty good for some of them.
I did get my scholarship.

[Confin3d]

Bipolar is (in my opinion) a lot less worse than anxiety, my heart goes out to those who have anxiety. It is one hell and you'll get through it.
At least bipolar with the highs, you feel pretty good for some of them.
I did get my scholarship.

I have bipolar/panic disorder and there is no enjoyment with the highs and lows. And there is far more lows then anything

[Gray]

Bipolar is (in my opinion) a lot less worse than anxiety, my heart goes out to those who have anxiety. It is one hell and you'll get through it.
At least bipolar with the highs, you feel pretty good for some of them.
I did get my scholarship.

I know that, I have pills for it.
Enough about me, life sucks.

[Confin3d]

I know that, I have pills for it.
Enough about me, life sucks.

We are just products of our environment good sir

[Aborted]

Bipolar is (in my opinion) a lot less worse than anxiety, my heart goes out to those who have anxiety. It is one hell and you'll get through it.
At least bipolar with the highs, you feel pretty good for some of them.
I did get my scholarship.

​I switch betwwen angry and sad, there is no happiness you ignorant shit.

[Mr.Seyeko]

There's never a silver lining, nothing ever gets better.
It gradually gets worse, decline gets worse.

Are you sure it's "better"? I doubt you think it is if you think about it long and hard.

I hate the way you look at life.. you will never get better if you have an attitude like that..