While I'm Here

[Fucking Moron]

So for the past few weeks I have been working on a rap.
I need to make the chorus still but this is what I got
Tell me what you think?
@Organized Chaos's Sheep @Color's Sheep @HalfBajan @KillTheNoise @Mokou-Sama @xaviar


Everyday I wake up
Mom screaming, heavy breathing
Wishing I could just keep dreaming
Dream bout the past all those good laughs
But the future's here at last
Man it kinda whooped my ass
Time to make my god damn statement
So while I'm here I'll make it clear
I walk on my own no fear
I prefer to be alone
I'm a fucking one man show
Trials and tribulations tend to test my own patience
When she says she loves you too
But you know she back-stabbed you
What do you do I got no clue
carry on with this message
Lace up tie my kicks
Put a smile of my face for these god damn pricks
I'm not the best but at least i'm in the mix
If you listen to my rhymes you understand for sure
Lyrical lecture, word architecture,
Rap director, word connector, musical belief
I tend to get nasty with a pen and some loose leaf
It is where I live inside
Cause this ain't a race to win, it's a run to finish
I'll just do my best not to miss
You know that I live for this and die for this
Laugh for this and cry for this

Chorus :

Verse 2 :
Before this game I was real low
So down low, I didn't glow
I take this beating everyday
Not just from the words they say
Start to wipe the tears away
Daddy hits me anyway
When it comes down to the line
These words I rap, they are mine
That's what differs you and I
My career, I will make it
Your career, you like to fake it
Your ride is over
No more fucking four-leaf clover
You have false claims in your ink
I got golden chains that link
My life's had it's up and downs
I express it through my sounds
This shit I make, it is my blueprint
Helped me pass all my classes
Led me to my fame my passion
My own passion not my fashion
It's more than me I guarantee
Let me show you my new world
I am on the very top, all this bass I make it drop
So while I'm here I'll make it clear
I walk on my own no fear
Let me show my how's and why's
Open up my life my mind
Brand new me, I'm refined
I start to glow I start to shine
The change in me
It was the right time
Now I see who I turned out to be

Chorus :

Verse 3 :
God works in different ways still today it shoes
Everybody knows that love comes and goes
But I'll will never be a product or a brand
But I see it through I got a plan
Born with no state of mind, Blind to the ways of mankind
God is smiling at me but he’s frowning too
Because only God knows the shit I go through
God knows this world has never seen it's peace
People tend to hate and love no more
They just fight these days, like whatever
Whatever happened to the stay-togethers
I’m with you, and that means forever
Takes awhile for things to happen fast
Then it hits you, you future is someone else's past
My feet might fail me, my heart might ail me
The slaves of Satan might accuse or jail me
People say there life is shit, I would have to disagree
It seems to me everyone one thinks they are a victim
Acting like the world is out to get them
You're full grown, get back up on your own
Cause that life you saved ended up to be your own
Lots of people say feelin good is an addiction
But the world is full of shit, so I don't listen
I live by my own motto
Make it by yourself that is what I like to follow
Life is something you can’t borrow and give back
Here today and gone tomorrow, just like that
You can take back all the things you give
But you can’t take back the days you live
Life is so fragile here on earth
Livin’ every day for what it’s fucking worth.
I live life just how I please,
These years past so fast it was a breeze
But I made here with ease
So while I'm here I'll make it clear
My legacy will live on even when I am gone
Cause one day I'll wake up
No more screamin, steady breathin
This life here it is a bliss
I wonder why it is like this
I finally figured out here's why
I figured out that I died
I closed my eyes, these memories I keep
Now it's time to go to sleep...

- - - Updated - - -

//Update\\
Here is the song *no words yet*
https://soundcloud.com/jrdrail/while-im-here

[Derpik]

Looks good.

[Megenhos]

/2shorty

[Galaxyxd]

New Eminem confirmed.

[Mokou-Sama]

I vote for Organized Chaos to make a video rappin it. This is the theory, now you must do practice.

[**Seals**]

So you can write but can you spit ?

[Fucking Moron]

So you can write but can you spit ?

Song will be posted either tomorrow or Thursday
@Mokou-Sama it's coming bruh

[Mokou-Sama]

Song will be posted either tomorrow or Thursday
@Mokou-Sama it's coming bruh

Oh boy, hold tight! (I want to hear it!)

[crusadorzach]

GG man, I don't even like rap but those lyrics have feels
The melody is nice too

[Logic]

the feels bruh.

nice work!

[Eternity]

Could use some word changes
I would Love if you could make a rap so i can get a better understanding because the lyrics might sound good but if you are actually trying to become a rapper i need to hear what you sound like
I like that you have variety
Overall I like it and i would give it a 9.5/10

But yeah keep in mind if you are trying to be a rapper make a rap video about this and post it for us and the world to hear.

[Fucking Moron]

Could use some word changes
I would Love if you could make a rap so i can get a better understanding because the lyrics might sound good but if you are actually trying to become a rapper i need to hear what you sound like
I like that you have variety
Overall I like it and i would give it a 9.5/10

But yeah keep in mind if you are trying to be a rapper make a rap video about this and post it for us and the world to hear.

Mend tellin me bout dem word changes? o.0!?

[LENKEK]

Noice.
//kekek

[Yin Yang]

Could use some word changes
I would Love if you could make a rap so i can get a better understanding because the lyrics might sound good but if you are actually trying to become a rapper i need to hear what you sound like
I like that you have variety
Overall I like it and i would give it a 9.5/10

But yeah keep in mind if you are trying to be a rapper make a rap video about this and post it for us and the world to hear.

I agree. Posting a vid on here or a link to youtube on here, it would get noticed by so much more people because most of mpgh will see it and give it a view and bump it to the youtube suggested page because of the thousands of people on mpgh that will view it xD

- - - Updated - - -

New Eminem confirmed.

CS supporting a fellow CS. Hehe.

[HalfBajan]

Could use some word changes
I would Love if you could make a rap so i can get a better understanding because the lyrics might sound good but if you are actually trying to become a rapper i need to hear what you sound like
I like that you have variety
Overall I like it and i would give it a 9.5/10

But yeah keep in mind if you are trying to be a rapper make a rap video about this and post it for us and the world to hear.

Yeah I agree, I feel as though I need to hear the rhythm of it toget it properly. Pretty good lyrics though never seen so many though for one song.