You were obviously attempting Kero's style. C4D's are too visible, should be darker with only few thin colored lines visible. The colored brushes (red, green, blue) don't look good and maybe put the on overlay or just lower the opacity would make them look better. Render is bad because it's low quality and her left arm looks like cropped out. Your small-sized brushes with outer glow should be spread around the whole tag, not spammed into one place. There's also something wrong with the lightning...