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[.watermelon]

Now that I have your attention.

I have a story to tell.

You guys all know Dave - the owner of this place. Well Dave and I know each other in real life you see.


A couple of weekends back, we arranged to meet at a bar for drinks. I arrive at the bar about 15 minutes early and wait at a table while eating some nuts and sipping on a cold one.

An hour passes and no sign of my buddy. I stick around in the hope that he will eventually show.

Some time passes, when a young Thai lady comes rushing into the bar.

''You know Dave'' she asks.

''Yeah where is he'' I respond.

''Dave in trouble, come quick''

So without hesitation I'm now running down the street with this small Thai lady. We eventually end up at a nearby motel, where she leads me to the room they had been staying in.

The lights are off, so I walk inside not knowing what is happening. Dave is standing there, naked and facing away. I move in closer to see what exactly has happened and it turns out that during a weird and very kinky sex game, Dave managed to stick his penis inside the metallic tubing of the bed's headboard.

After some confusion we all decide that he needs some form of oil to gently pry his penis free of the metal tubing.

I run to the nearest store and buy a stick of butter, returning to the motel as quickly as I can.

An awkward silence. We're all thinking the same thing. I'm not going to rub butter all over Dave's penis to set it free. We both turn to face the little Thai lady and after a short while arguing she agrees to butter his balls up.

After some tugging, his penis is set free from its metallic cage, albeit with some very sore marks.

We haven't spoken to each other since that night. I'm not sure why.

So I'm here to try and regain contact with my old buddy.

Thanks guys,

.watermelon

[Death']

10/10 would read this again

[TeddyBoy95]

I'm not moralist but this is freaking

[Jlowbob]

This is probably true excluding the Thai lady being there.

[Vine]

10/10, Never has a story made me cry so badly.

[Boombox]

100% true.
@Dave84311

[JamesWoods]

>>be working late at market
>>sweaty man comes running inside yelling "BUTTER!!! I NEED THE BUTTER!!!"
>>point him towards butter
>>runs out and doesn't even pay

[BoxHead1080]

10/10
Would read again.

[JimTheGreat]

WHAT A FUCKING MASTERPIECE.

[Oneirish]

what the fuck...?

[Hack in the box]

Hey its another ethen troll

You're a fuckin' dumbass cause dat is not a troll. That is a piece of art. Not me either.

[Euphemistic]

That was.... beautiful

10/10

[Elocrypt.]

Good story... but why?

[Death']

@Dave84311 please confirm this is true

[[MPGH]Dave84311]

@Dave84311 please confirm this is true

I COVER UP MY EARS AND GO LA LA LA, LA LA LA