My version because I think me posting a version somehow matters and that somebody actually cares and reads this :
Welcome to the first edition of MPGH news. Since this is a first edition please go fuck yourself.
General section and Combat Arms section are almost reaching 1 million posts. Motherfuck just think: In CA they somehow spam more than us
VIP is available at only $10 a month! But you're a cheap gyp bastard so go buy sum weed!
In the past week, we have had some server problems as always. MPGH is always freaking slow if you have slow internet
Just two weeks ago, four well-known members of MPGH decided to conduct a mutual masturbation session. The four members were @Sjoerd, @Super Martin,@Dead Bones Brook, and @Archangel. They did take pictures of the meetup and created a video called, “Circle-jerk Extravaganza!”. Dave gave em TM just to be a troll.
We recently lost all our staffs and our knowledge of plural and singular verbs. Sad
TL;DR: A bunch of the little boy staffers quit/got demoted. Maybe now they could devote their time to going through puberty.
Congratulations to @Sid on being a minion at the Vindictus section, , but nobody cares about that boolshit.
@Jailbroken671 has also become a minion on Minecraft section. Who dat?
Buncha people got TM Dave's givin out TM like certain female members of this site give out blowsjobs at those underground american mpgh parties - Screw you eurofags!
@Dead Bones Brook has also recently become a donator in MPGH. Wunderful!
Oh, btw:
The US pretended to kill Osama. In reality it was the illuminati taking back the black pearl.
The Mississippi River has been rising and screw those southern cowsecksing rednecks.
Violence keeps growing in Syria and it may turn out like Libya. Yay more target practice for us! Let's nuke em into glass!