So here it goes...

My name is Reece Michael Alqotaibi. I was born in Sheffield, England on the 3rd of October 1991. I am primarily English with twenty five percent Saudi Arabian descent, on my mothers side.

I've been in a lot of trouble in the past twenty years and I have done some things that I am not proud of. Still, I would never change the things I have done because I am relatively happy with my life at the moment.

Most of you are reading this and thinking "Cool story brah, nobody cares."

Please, I beg of you to keep reading. This message I send to you all does have a purpose.

And so I continue...

When I was seven years old I got into trouble with the police and the fire services for the first time. A "friend" of mine thought it would be funny to get his older brother to throw a rock at my head and so he did it. He cut my head open and I had to have about ten stitches in. I was absolutely furious and I had really bad anger problems back then. (Not so much now) In all of my rage I took a matchbox that I found in my parents bedroom. I walked over the road and stuck three matches, dropping them into my so called "friends", dads skip outside of their house and it was immediately engulfed in flames. I had never seen anything so beautiful up until this point.

The police and fire department arrived and I got into serious trouble but was too young to get a criminal record.

When I was nine I thought it would be a good idea to set fire to a small stack of hay. When I had finished I stood up but accidentally kicked this tiny pile of hay into the 12 x 12 stack of hay that was right in front of me. Much like the skip it went up in flames and looked absolutely amazing. Once again I got into trouble with the law but was still too young to receive a criminal record.

During high school I was forever in trouble with my tutors for smoking and fighting in school as well drinking and smoking Weed.
Towards the end of high school we moved into a town called Wetherby and baring in mind that I had lived in villages all of my life, I was suddenly open to this wide world. I quickly slipped in with the wrong crowd, started doing Weed more often, started organizing fights more and started to vandalize and intimidate people in the streets; I was a thug.

Now I am twenty years old and I have a brilliant job, I teach for a living but soon I am leaving to join the army. I can't wait and I'm going to be proud to fight for my country. In case nobody else gets to hear it in detail like this - this is my story and I am sending it to you.


 
Thanks for wasting your time reading that. 5K posts.
If you read all of this you have just wasted time and I have been successful. You can deny it to the general public but deep down in the bottom of your soul, you know that I got you.
If I didn't fool you, good game.