Introducing our new product, HackerSmacker. End hackers before they begin.

APRIL FOOLS

MPGH Industries, LLC. is proud to present our new state of the art innovative product. We've been busy at work for the last 10 months designing, building, and testing the newest and most innovative hacker defense product on the market today.

Per our official press release:

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Are you tired of getting One Hit Killed from 1337 feet away, behind two walls, without even getting a chance to shoot back at some jacked up muscular roid monkey who is the most popular kid at school and doesn't have any gaming talent unlike your skilled hard-working self? Fret no more!

After the shocking success of games like Pokemon Go, and other mobile games, the dwindling PC gamer population felt was getting knocked off it's last legs by the rampant cheaters and hackers downloading hacks from MPGH to ruin their gaming experience. The leaders of the gaming industry such as Valve, Activision, Blizzard, and others hailed an emergency meeting in Geneva last year. MPGHs senior staff were invited on an all expense paid trip to this prestigious event as a last ditch attempt to save the PC gaming population from imploding and turning on itself.

The gaming leaders demanded a solution to be found to stop hackers and once and for all. Companies turned blame on each other and fights ensued of historic proportions! MPGH's bright leaders offered an elegant solution to a massive problem, we would build an anti-cheat wall like no other! Nobody knows how to build anti-cheat like MPGH. Who else knows how to stop the loophole ridden hack defenses than the hack builders themselves? The failing hackers stand no chance. The gaming industry held a vote to determine what would be the future of the industry, by electing a leader to preside over the Gaming Companies of Terra, as the organization is named. We pushed forth our head Administrator @Dave84311 to represent us. After a fierce and hotly contested debate in which 100% completely falsified Intel was procured and revealed on Dave (such as him "having active communication with hackers", "being unqualified", "grabbing 13 year old kids by the" unmentionables), it looked like our Dave would lose this election, a vote was held. We accepted that we would not accept any other result than the complete and absolute victory of Dave, and low and behold! Dave magnificently trumped his chief rival. Rumors spread that hackers had tampered with the voting process to help ensure Dave won, but we have eyewitness accounts of non GCT members being brought in by the bus-loads to illegally vote. Sad! Why did the Fake Media not report this? What are they hiding? Failing Kotaku is in it for the views.

After this debacle of an election in which our massively loyal supporters helped push Dave through, we developed HackerSmacker. HackerSmacker is a next generation anti-cheat system utilizing the latest in technology to stop hackers before they happen.

Our anti cheat software uses a hidden algorithm to screen high risk potential hackers and stop them from crossing the wall of our network of virtual games.

Our amazing features include:

Thought crime analysis by screening your browser, computer, files, network communication, and forms of communication for keywords risking you as a potential hacker, but mainly buying your internet history from your ISP
Unconditionally banning game players from 6 high risk terrorizing hacking countries: Iran, Syria, Sudan, Yemen, Libya, Somalia
Constructing a digital wall by sectioning off the internet from the lower IP ranges, forming a digital wall against entry designed non other than by our amazing administrator Dave84311, nobody can build a wall like him!
Utilizing our massive library of hacks to signature scan active and similar cheats to instantly ban hackers
Deploying Neural Networks and Artificial Intelligence to detect memory edits and packet modifications
Configuring Monitors and TVs to spy and record any sort of digital overlay such as Wallhacks and Chams
Implementing an entire video game wide ban on any computer connected on a LAN to a potential hacking related computer
Using our account database library to find all illegal hackers trespassing on MPGH and utilizing section 8, act III, procedure 95 to have them deported immediately. Any person who has downloaded a hack off MPGH in the last 10 years has had their IP and account information forwarded to build a massive database of deplorables
Top secret plan to eliminate all hackers in 30 days

HackerSmacker is available immediately on PC consoles, with Playstation, Xbox, and Nintendo consoles coming soon. Expect your favorite games to deploy HackerSmacker within the next 24 hours.
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We are not open for any form of comments at this time. Leave any questions and comments below. Remember that any conflicting, biased, or untrue reports left below will have your MPGH citizenship revoked. You have been warned. Hail Dave!

- MPGH Staff

hackersmacker.png22 KB · 2,047 downloads

All hail HackerSmacker!

OMG is this real or not ? it now changes the whol way we use mpgh GG don't now if ill still use sit but will have to see change
ahh I'm so confused and angry

Haha nice one! Have a good one

Interesting... hail dave I guess?

I have been waiting for this

ALL HAIL HACKERSMACKER

Finally, sounds great, but i'm a little confused, if you connect from one of those 6 countries or you simply use a vpn, do you get automatically banned, or is it just a warning signal?