Is it worth it?

[[MPGH]Jov]

so not many of you know what happened to me during those 9 weeks i was gone. So what happened was i had been self medicating for along time to cope with my unbalanced family dynamic, my clinical and manic depression (bipolar disorder) and just to relieve everyday stresses. It started with marijuana and ended with heroin, percs and xanax. I was smoking heroin 4-5 times a day, dabbing myself silly and popping oxy and xanax. It came to a point in which i was buying 50 xanax bricks every 2 weeks. In fact, thats what got me caught. My headmaster took me to the hospital because i had a concussion and they randomly drug tested me there, i was positive for benzos, i did alot of xanax the night before. My coverup story was terrible.. I said i bought it off craigslist and took it two weeks ago and acted amazed about it still being in my system. Since my headmaster wasnt born yesterday he took me in for questioning and suspended me. I told him the truth. I told him about all the drugs i was doing. I was nailing lines of coke and hitting the tinfoil alot. I remember sitting in my room nodding out and punching walls. I lost 45 pounds from my heroin use, i used to be ol fat jov and now im this scrawny kid. So, my headmaster told me i was gonna be expelled. But fortunately my parents (who might of bribed him) convinced him to let me stay. You see, two years ago i decided to attemp suicide, i attempted to overdose on prescription ritalin RA, which was prescribed to me. I went into convulsions and got sent to the er. I wanted to die at that point. Fast forward back to school and the same feeling came upon me. You see, depression and addiction is super common in my family, my dad is a cokehead himself. Ive been struggling with my impulsivity and my depression for over 10 years. My parents wrote an intervention letter to me after i got to my rtc in utah. I detoxed in the medical wing of the facility and got put on suboxin and some other med. they taught me some DBT skills (dialectical behavior therapy) they told me to stay sober and ive been going to NA meetings cus i wanna do the 90 days challenge. They let me come back to that school this year under one condition, random drug tests.
The urge to use and relapse is really fucking bad, i have a sponsor named matias but i dont rly like him he is too bossy. I heard research chemicals dont show up in drug tests. Ive done 25-i, which is synthetic lsd but never any other research chemicals. They are kinda sketch. I trust you guys to be the voice of reason, should i do them?

[TripperNet]

No stop being silly and come back to reality lmao, i know its hard but just stop doing drugs that harm ya really, i do loads of drugs but im completely fine. XTC LSD(250Ug) coke MDMA i've done them all and im still not a major, but nothing wrong with me i still love life

[[MPGH]Jov]

No stop being silly and come back to reality lmao, i know its hard but just stop doing drugs that harm ya really, i do loads of drugs but im completely fine. XTC LSD(250Ug) coke MDMA i've done them all and im still not a major, but nothing wrong with me i still love life

Ive been smoking so many cigs m8 shit aint working. I tried salvia and spice but they just fucked me up. Im in reality i just really want to use im tired of cigs

[Kodoku]

I'm pretty sure that psychedelics are only in your system for short periods of time before your brain actually starts dissolving it. Although i think there are some traces in your spinal fluid for a few days. Honestly if you're gonna go with anything to try and cope with life i'd definitely pick up some of that 25-i. It's cheap and the trip is amazing. Last time i bought it was only like $10 for a 90mg tab and that got me good for the night. Good luck finding you bigfoot<333

[[MPGH]arunforce]

No it's not worth it. It's a quick short fix that hurts you extremely hard in the long run. Do what you gotta do, find a new addiction, whether it's spending money on pointless toys, running for two hours straight at 2 am, or whatever. Check yourself into rehab if you have to. It's only a downward spiral.

[Batman]

Jov, I love you man.

Don't go back into it. As arunforce said, it's just a constant downward spiral. Nothing can ever get better from abusing drugs. You're almost done with high school, so I'm confident that you can go on to do great things.

My freshman year in high school ended a few months ago. For a good portion of the year, I was depressed which led to be to experiment a lot with alcohol and cigarettes. My best friend found me drunk and she slapped the shit out of me. Then she took me to a person who I trust a lot, a senior, and he slapped me harder. They both explained to me that my condition would only worsen if I was like this.

That's why I've gone 100% clean. And I recommend you do too.

Jov you're a nice guy and you have a great heart. Don't let drugs plague that. I know you're stronger than the drugs.

Good luck, friend.

[Hunter]

Even although you may find yourself desperate and sad, it's not worth it. Drugs don't even fix anything, they just twist reality for a few minutes, make you feel a little "better" in the meantime and then, when its effects are gone, you just feel even more desperate and sadder. It's not worth it. You've a good heart, you're a good person and I'm pretty sure that if you believe in yourself you'll surpass the addiction. Best of luck Jov.

[Gray]

Stick to organic.

[Default]

bruv don't do drugs or smoke weed, I know it's hard to leave something ure addicted to even tho u know its bad as i'm addicted to cigs
But you gotta do it this shit may lead to death or some bad shit..
Try to get a dog or a pet and enjoy with him/her because they relieve stress and make you happy

[Democritus]

Try to stay away from drugs as best as you can, it's clearly best for your future. Good luck Jov!

[Degree]

Don't do it. Do you you gotta do, but try your absolute hardest to get clean and you will be able to do it.

[KillTheNoise]

synthetic's are addicting as fuck and in general fucking bad with sub-par trips and they still show up in your spinal fluid. Also I have 0 fucking clue whats even in them after talking to alot of people that got different trips from the same drug just a different batch. I havent tried 25-i I dont use LSD and shit because I get always bad trips for some reason. If depression is fucking you or you have too much time on your hands find something to latch onto and enjoy I know drugs are fun and all and it kind of sucks you cant even smoke a joint but I know what kind of personality you have it an Addictive one because I have a friend similar to you who cant Drink/Smoke or do drugs or he cant stop its sucks ass but these are the cards we are delt and we have to deal with them.

I was going to attempt to OD on Angel dust 4 years ago. Depression is one of the worse things that you can have and is somthing that wont go away but can be delt with and shrunken so its not so much a part of you but its apart of the old you. If depression is common in you family find someone to talk to about it the reason depression got so bad for me was because I couldn't tell anyone no-one I knew could help me deal with it because they couldn't understand it. The best cure for it is just talking to someone or finding solace in something for me it was drawing for you it could be anything. Some days you'll wake up and say fuck it why do I bother and consider ending it all for the what feels like infinite time but find something small something good that happend on that day something that you can say ya that was pretty cool or that made my day.

[ultrawtf]

Relapsing is not an option man,I've never been addicted on anything but a close friend of mine has been addict for few years,it won't help you anything,think about it in long run,few minutes of enjoyment is just not worth it,do something else for fun,it is summer go on holiday,enjoy your life other ways than doing drugs.

[Kongou.]

I was going to read the post but it looks like a fucking bible.

[Gaydow]

so not many of you know what happened to me during those 9 weeks i was gone. So what happened was i had been self medicating for along time to cope with my unbalanced family dynamic, my clinical and manic depression (bipolar disorder) and just to relieve everyday stresses. It started with marijuana and ended with heroin, percs and xanax. I was smoking heroin 4-5 times a day, dabbing myself silly and popping oxy and xanax. It came to a point in which i was buying 50 xanax bricks every 2 weeks. In fact, thats what got me caught. My headmaster took me to the hospital because i had a concussion and they randomly drug tested me there, i was positive for benzos, i did alot of xanax the night before. My coverup story was terrible.. I said i bought it off craigslist and took it two weeks ago and acted amazed about it still being in my system. Since my headmaster wasnt born yesterday he took me in for questioning and suspended me. I told him the truth. I told him about all the drugs i was doing. I was nailing lines of coke and hitting the tinfoil alot. I remember sitting in my room nodding out and punching walls. I lost 45 pounds from my heroin use, i used to be ol fat jov and now im this scrawny kid. So, my headmaster told me i was gonna be expelled. But fortunately my parents (who might of bribed him) convinced him to let me stay. You see, two years ago i decided to attemp suicide, i attempted to overdose on prescription ritalin RA, which was prescribed to me. I went into convulsions and got sent to the er. I wanted to die at that point. Fast forward back to school and the same feeling came upon me. You see, depression and addiction is super common in my family, my dad is a cokehead himself. Ive been struggling with my impulsivity and my depression for over 10 years. My parents wrote an intervention letter to me after i got to my rtc in utah. I detoxed in the medical wing of the facility and got put on suboxin and some other med. they taught me some DBT skills (dialectical behavior therapy) they told me to stay sober and ive been going to NA meetings cus i wanna do the 90 days challenge. They let me come back to that school this year under one condition, random drug tests.
The urge to use and relapse is really fucking bad, i have a sponsor named matias but i dont rly like him he is too bossy. I heard research chemicals dont show up in drug tests. Ive done 25-i, which is synthetic lsd but never any other research chemicals. They are kinda sketch. I trust you guys to be the voice of reason, should i do them?

No don't do it, marijuana should be fine as it has no bad side affects other than that don't do anything. Reason your depressed is i'm assuming you have no other distractions in your life. Get involved in sports, join the gym and find a purpose in life other than just not doing "anything". I don't know anything about you so I can't blame if you if you turned to drugs but you can reverse that, it isn't easy but you can get your life back on track by motivating yourself to do something that you want to do. A real high is better than a fake high...