Random Jokes everyday...

[Freeze]

"Yo momma so fat she limbos under the door" My friend told me that one

"Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face, and told her mother, "Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!" Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut." Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, "Really small, was it?" Sally replied, "No, salty." Mom fainted." Help I can stop laughing

"Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!" Found it on the internet

"A mother went to pick up her daughter from elementary school and found her doing handstands against the wall. When they got into the car, the mother said, "Darling, I wish you wouldn't do that because the boys can see your panties." "Okay, mommy," the little girl replied. The next day, the mother noticed her little girls hands looked dirty, so she asked, "You haven't been doing handstands again and letting those boys see your panties, have you?" "Oh no, mummy," the daughter replied. "Honestly! I took them off first." Found that one on the internet

[Light]

xD These made me slightly amused on the inside. Not bad at all

[RiceAndDice]

Too long. Did not read

[Freeze]

Too long. Did not read

Read it or I'll rip your face CELL by CELL, peasant


jk pls dont kill mehhh

[Spreed]

Mrs Cameron, a primary teacher, was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong.

"All right children, let's take an example," Mrs Cameron said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?"

Little Tony raises his hand, and with a confident smile says, "You'd be his wife."

[Light]

Why did little Sally fall of the swing?

 

Because she had no arms.

Why was Billy late to school?

 

He was hit by a bus.

Why didn't Mohammed eat his breakfast?

 

He'd blown up both himself and his sleeping parents at night.

Why was
Oh, fuck it, can't think of anymore

[Freeze]

Why did little Sally fall of the swing?

 

Because she had no arms.

Why was Billy late to school?

 

He was hit by a bus.

Why didn't Mohammed eat his breakfast?

 

He'd blown up both himself and his sleeping parents at night.

Why was
Oh, fuck it, can't think of anymore

I feel bad for laughing

- - - Updated - - -

anyone got 20c I can borrow? pm me

[rory32]

Why did little Sally fall of the swing?

 

Because she had no arms.

Why was Billy late to school?

 

He was hit by a bus.

Why didn't Mohammed eat his breakfast?

 

He'd blown up both himself and his sleeping parents at night.

Why was
Oh, fuck it, can't think of anymore

Lol so morbid...