Walmart Application

**Obey** · 04-01-2009

WAL-MART APPLICATION of a 75 year old senior citizen
WAL-MART APPLICATION

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Arkansas
They hired him because he was so funny.....

NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place ?

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m . Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no!
On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread
Actually, I'd like to be doing that now

NEAREST RELATIVE.7 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR
KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely.

**snizox15** · 04-01-2009

how do i get my habamon on my page men ever i talk

**Firerouge** · 04-01-2009

Lol hilarious.

I wonder if I should try this for my first job.

**Shark** · 04-01-2009

Hell, if I was 75, I'd do that too.

**lilgui62** · 04-01-2009

ROFLMAOOO!!!!!! "SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)" LOL!!! That almost made me piss my pants!! I'm dieing of laughter here!!

**zebramanz** · 04-01-2009

Originally Posted by snizox15

how do i get my habamon on my page men ever i talk

Theres a code on the habamon website, go to USER CP and go to edit signature and paste it to that box and apply it. So... they applied him cuz hes funny eh??? Lol then my friend (class clown) can prob get a lot of offers from a lot of companies.

**Ian** · 04-01-2009

hahaha lol i am gonna use that application and edit few things and gonna see if i will get a job here over the summer.. hope it has the same questions as above..