I feel as if you kept the higher tones for too long at the end.
Would sound better if they stopped at around 13 - 14 seconds, and then you progressed back down into lower tones until ending.
Other than that, I really like the beginning.
https://soundcloud.com/aborted-soul/random-piano-melody
Recorded on a Roland HP504 and exported to MIDI.
You were seeking strength, justice, splendour.
You were seeking love.
Here is the pit, here is your pit.
Its name is Silence..
I feel as if you kept the higher tones for too long at the end.
Would sound better if they stopped at around 13 - 14 seconds, and then you progressed back down into lower tones until ending.
Other than that, I really like the beginning.