Girls

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Girls

I just don't get girls sometimes. Like we hang out one day and during we are hanging out you post a story that says something about "its a date". I literally open it while we are out and ask her if we are on a date and you say no. Like what? Why post this then. You get my hopes up for what? I literally spilled my feelings to you what would be the 3rd time. It makes no sense when you'll give me attention one day, have 3 hour long Sky.pe calls and then the next day message me twice. But be active elsewhere. Makes no sense.

Originally Posted by Matthew

I just don't get girls sometimes. Like we hang out one day and during we are hanging out you post a story that says something about "its a date". I literally open it while we are out and ask her if we are on a date and you say no. Like what? Why post this then. You get my hopes up for what? I literally spilled my feelings to you what would be the 3rd time. It makes no sense when you'll give me attention one day, have 3 hour long Sky.pe calls and then the next day message me twice. But be active elsewhere. Makes no sense.

I interpret this as her trying to be cheeky on snap. Also spilling feelings for the 3rd time? Bruh, tbh if I told a girl I had feelings for her and she was like yeah nah the first time, probably wouldn't ask a 2nd or 3rd time cause then you just seem desperate. As for day to day differences, shit happens. People got shit to do. May not get back to your texts immediately. You seem way more invested in her than she is in you and that's not a good thing mentally.

Originally Posted by Bernard

I interpret this as her trying to be cheeky on snap. Also spilling feelings for the 3rd time? Bruh, tbh if I told a girl I had feelings for her and she was like yeah nah the first time, probably wouldn't ask a 2nd or 3rd time cause then you just seem desperate. As for day to day differences, shit happens. People got shit to do. May not get back to your texts immediately. You seem way more invested in her than she is in you and that's not a good thing mentally.

Can totally agree with this especially with the part with confessing 3rd time, it does make you look desperate asf.

Originally Posted by Bernard

Well I probably should have laid out context as to why I say 3rd time. So back in 11th grade I liked her, shit went south stopped talking to her. 12th grade starts we got the same 1st boom we date. Doesn't work out (I initiated the break up) and we don't talk. Quarantine starts we start talking lightly. A week ago I quit my 70+ hour job and she says we should hang out. I do, we go to the park then her house. And thats when the IG story part comes in, etc. Like she literally play wrestled with me, etc. That's the part where I thought she had feelings again but was fronting about them. Now I know people, I've taken sociology and I'm just really interested in studying behavior so thats why I thought she was fronting and trying to hide until the right moment. Guess I may have been wrong. But like today she replied twice over the whole day but was posting on insta. That's the part that pisses me off. Like idk if she likes me or what

Originally Posted by Matthew

Well I probably should have laid out context as to why I say 3rd time. So back in 11th grade I liked her, shit went south stopped talking to her. 12th grade starts we got the same 1st boom we date. Doesn't work out (I initiated the break up) and we don't talk. Quarantine starts we start talking lightly. A week ago I quit my 70+ hour job and she says we should hang out. I do, we go to the park then her house. And thats when the IG story part comes in, etc. Like she literally play wrestled with me, etc. That's the part where I thought she had feelings again but was fronting about them. Now I know people, I've taken sociology and I'm just really interested in studying behavior so thats why I thought she was fronting and trying to hide until the right moment. Guess I may have been wrong. But like today she replied twice over the whole day but was posting on insta. That's the part that pisses me off. Like idk if she likes me or what

Hope you're not the guy she chooses to hang out with when everyone else is too busy to hang out (last resort guy). That would be a feelsbadman right there. Curious and want to hear more about why yall broke up...well twice. Idk MAYBE you can play the long con, but idk if it's worth it but idk yalls story. You said you confessed your feelings so how has she reacted every time? Hoping its not like a oh I like you to BRO. Or a haha you're so funny/cute. That would actually kill me.

Originally Posted by Bernard

Hope you're not the guy she chooses to hang out with when everyone else is too busy to hang out. That would be a feelsbadman right there. Curious and want to hear more about why yall broke up...well twice. Idk MAYBE you can play the long con, but idk if it's worth it but idk yalls story.

We only dated once, the first time I met her we talked but it never got to the dating part. I eventually decided to try again and it worked but well we broke up. So this is my third time trying. And I asked her why she wanted to hang out with me because she has a lot of friends now (I'm introvert, anti social, awkward, etc) and she said whenever she hangs out with someone they want something and I'm not like that and she said I'm really honest (good thing?). I will give that last part some truth, I'm brutally honest with everyone and I'm a "dick". But my honesty doesn't get me far all the time, I've told her I still liked her over a Sky.pe call, etc.

Originally Posted by Matthew

We only dated once, the first time I met her we talked but it never got to the dating part. I eventually decided to try again and it worked but well we broke up. So this is my third time trying. And I asked her why she wanted to hang out with me because she has a lot of friends now (I'm introvert, anti social, awkward, etc) and she said whenever she hangs out with someone they want something and I'm not like that and she said I'm really honest (good thing?). I will give that last part some truth, I'm brutally honest with everyone and I'm a "dick". But my honesty doesn't get me far all the time, I've told her I still liked her over a Sky.pe call, etc.

Uh oh, hope we're not in the "gay best friend zone" or the "I can tell this guy anything cause it's not like it'll get out to my friend group". Also reread my last post it was updated.

Originally Posted by Bernard

Uh oh, hope we're not in the "gay best friend zone" or the "I can tell this guy anything cause it's not like it'll get out to my friend group". Also reread my last post it was updated.

Well it's funny you bring that up... Before we dated I was her best friend and thats why we broke up.... She was unsure what she wanted and I wasn't having that. I'm def a close friend to her now and that might be where we are stuck at. She never really reacts when I compliment her or tell her how I feel. I just don't know about this one anymore

Originally Posted by Matthew

Well it's funny you bring that up... Before we dated I was her best friend and thats why we broke up.... She was unsure what she wanted and I wasn't having that. I'm def a close friend to her now and that might be where we are stuck at. She never really reacts when I compliment her or tell her how I feel. I just don't know about this one anymore

Well based on what you've said. Im leaning towards "gay best friend zone". I mean if I was in your spot, would still hang out with her. Usually when people spend a lot of time together over a long period of time, they inevitably end up having feelings for one another (well not inevitably but much higher chances you get the point). But on the other hand, you're over-invested.

Originally Posted by Bernard

Well based on what you've said. Im leaning towards "gay best friend zone". I mean if I was in your spot, would still hang out with her. Usually when people spend a lot of time together over a long period of time, they inevitably end up having feelings for one another (well not inevitably but much higher chances you get the point). But on the other hand, you're over-invested.

I can see both points made... We used to spend a lot of time together (not physically but you get the point) and she ended up being my gf for some time. And I feel like that is one of my flaws when I like a girl. I get to attached/invested and it either helps the situation or just worsens it (in this case maybe the latter)

Originally Posted by Matthew

I can see both points made... We used to spend a lot of time together (not physically but you get the point) and she ended up being my gf for some time. And I feel like that is one of my flaws when I like a girl. I get to attached/invested and it either helps the situation or just worsens it (in this case maybe the latter)

By "We used to spend a lot of time together (not physically but you get the point)" do you mean yall just texted a bunch? I don't understand. If you do mean yall texted/talked a bunch but didn't spend a lot of time together in person...well it's very hard to develop that bond over text.

Originally Posted by Bernard

By "We used to spend a lot of time together (not physically but you get the point)" do you mean yall just texted a bunch? I don't understand. If you do mean yall texted/talked a bunch but didn't spend a lot of time together in person...well it's very hard to develop that bond over text.

Lots of texting/calls and we also had a class together and spent time together in school

Originally Posted by Matthew

Lots of texting/calls and we also had a class together and spent time together in school

Well I've basically exhausted all my thoughts. Whats your plan moving forward?

Originally Posted by Bernard

Well I've basically exhausted all my thoughts. Whats your plan?

Play it off lightly or go down the road I usually go and be a dick. My default personality is "dick" but if I like someone or a girl I change that to "bro" or "simp". Funny because she says I simp for her all the time :P

Originally Posted by Matthew

Play it off lightly or go down the road I usually go and be a dick. My default personality is "dick" but if I like someone or a girl I change that to "bro" or "simp". Funny because she says I simp for her all the time :P

She says you simp for her all the time? Bruhhhhhhh. I'm cringing. Thats just a big bruhhhh moment. Also be aware that her own perception of you isn't all that matters. It's high school (or rather was) and I feel that at that age especially, people care a lot about how other people see the fact that she's dating you. Especially when you go to the same school and your classmates become aware of it. Everyone wants to fit in. If you're generally regarded as a dick, dating you can hurt her social standing which hurts your chances.