Fantastic work, paints an effectively vivid picture with each stanza, the first segment starts by showing you what the setting is going to be like, while not using any filler to throw in before getting right down to the main idea behind the poem in the first place, with an offset beat with each line, making it more mysterious, yet obviously visible. I'd love to see more of your work, this isn't mediocre pointless rap like what the majority posts, and I like it. Thought through quite well.