Make me laugh contest!
Hey guys got 5 Keys top 5 people to make me laugh will get one 
Post below make me laugh and then later today i will choose the winners 
Post below make me laugh and then later today i will choose the winners Make me laugh contest!
oneyng classic
listen to these:
1)an officer enter in a barrack saying to the recruits:"today will come the inspector to do an inspection,he will ask you what do you eat? you'll say The Pasta,What do u put in the gun?the gun powder,do u love more your dad or your mother?you'll say both.
when the inspector comes the first soldier says:i eat the Pasta,i put the gun powder in the gun,i love my parents both.
the second soldier says:i eat the gun powder,i put in the gun the pasta,then the officer ask:"are u stupid or a jerk?"and the soldier says:"Both"
2)in a population of Blacks with 100 people a man find an old magic lamp,the Genius,seeing all this people,decides to give 1 wish to all,the first says:"i want to be white!"and other 98 guys says that,the last says:"i'm feeling alone being the last black,so i wish all returns Black!"
3)An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
1)an officer enter in a barrack saying to the recruits:"today will come the inspector to do an inspection,he will ask you what do you eat? you'll say The Pasta,What do u put in the gun?the gun powder,do u love more your dad or your mother?you'll say both.
when the inspector comes the first soldier says:i eat the Pasta,i put the gun powder in the gun,i love my parents both.
the second soldier says:i eat the gun powder,i put in the gun the pasta,then the officer ask:"are u stupid or a jerk?"and the soldier says:"Both"
2)in a population of Blacks with 100 people a man find an old magic lamp,the Genius,seeing all this people,decides to give 1 wish to all,the first says:"i want to be white!"and other 98 guys says that,the last says:"i'm feeling alone being the last black,so i wish all returns Black!"
3)An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.
The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"
The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Originally Posted by maciok
listen to these:
1)an officer enter in a barrack saying to the recruits:"today will come the inspector to do an inspection,he will ask you what do you eat? you'll say The Pasta,What do u put in the gun?the gun powder,do u love more your dad or your mother?you'll say both.
when the inspector comes the first soldier says:i eat the Pasta,i put the gun powder in the gun,i love my parents both.
the second soldier says:i eat the gun powder,i put in the gun the pasta,then the officer ask:"are u stupid or a jerk?"and the soldier says:"Both"
2)in a population of Blacks with 100 people a man find an old magic lamp,the Genius,seeing all this people,decides to give 1 wish to all,the first says:"i want to be white!"and other 98 guys says that,the last says:"i'm feeling alone being the last black,so i wish all returns Black!"
1)an officer enter in a barrack saying to the recruits:"today will come the inspector to do an inspection,he will ask you what do you eat? you'll say The Pasta,What do u put in the gun?the gun powder,do u love more your dad or your mother?you'll say both.
when the inspector comes the first soldier says:i eat the Pasta,i put the gun powder in the gun,i love my parents both.
the second soldier says:i eat the gun powder,i put in the gun the pasta,then the officer ask:"are u stupid or a jerk?"and the soldier says:"Both"
2)in a population of Blacks with 100 people a man find an old magic lamp,the Genius,seeing all this people,decides to give 1 wish to all,the first says:"i want to be white!"and other 98 guys says that,the last says:"i'm feeling alone being the last black,so i wish all returns Black!"
sorry but i'm italian...
What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take my boots off before I jump on the trampoline
I take my boots off before I jump on the trampoline
Can't beat this.
There once was a kid who was in the back of a taxi. He was talking to the taxi driver:
Code:
You know, if my mom was a chick and my dad was a rooster, i would be a baby chick now! Yes, yes, that would be nice. Also, if my dad was a bull and my mom was a cow, I would have been a baby bull now! Can you please shut up, we are allmost at the destination. Yes sir. You know, if my dad was a buck and my mom a goat, I would have been a baby buck now! What if your mom was a wh*re and your dad was a f*ggot, what would have you been then!? A taxi driver!
A Sunday school teacher is concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus, so he asks his class, "Where is Jesus today?"
Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."
Mary answers, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"
The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.
"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"
One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying,"Fuck this," "Fuck that."
The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us."
"Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest."
Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Well tell him to get the fuck out and push!!!"
Steven raises his hand and says, "He's in Heaven."
Mary answers, "He's in my heart."
Little Johnny waves his hand furiously and blurts out, "He's in our bathroom!"
The surprised teacher asks Little Johnny how he knows this.
"Well," Little Johnny says, "every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?!'"
One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying,"Fuck this," "Fuck that."
The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us."
"Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest."
Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Well tell him to get the fuck out and push!!!"
