Demential Machinations

[Aborted]

Demential machinations of the vortexial enigmae,
A subconscious yearning, the cessation of humanity’s days,
Psychometric strangleholds within a sub-spatial mind,
Eternal reformation, the berserker’s cubiform design.
We take the abyssal descent into unchained destruction,
An anomalous digression, blood drips into fluxion.
A silken realm of light dancing in our heads,
Profound calls to violence, our morality’s dead.

[Oneirish]

Demential machinations of the vortexial enigmae,
A subconscious yearning, the cessation of humanity’s days,
Psychometric strangleholds within a sub-spatial mind,
Eternal reformation, the berserker’s cubiform design.
We take the abyssal descent into unchained destruction,
An anomalous digression, blood drips into fluxion.
A silken realm of light dancing in our heads,
Profound calls to violence, our morality’s dead.

dam that shits deep.

love these last lines:

"We take the abyssal descent into unchained destruction,
An anomalous digression, blood drips into fluxion.
A silken realm of light dancing in our heads,
Profound calls to violence, our morality’s dead."

[MathiasCoC]

Wow. Just wow

[Euphemistic]

That was Beautiful

[Aborted]

I'm sort of OK with the result, considering I only put about 20 minutes in to it, though it's not my best work.

[Ryan]

"Demential" and "vortexial" aren't words.

[Aborted]

"Demential" and "vortexial" aren't words.

Guess what? Demential is a word.
Vortexial technically isn't, but I simply took some artistic freedom and used it anyway.

Not like either point has anything to do with anything.

[Ryan]

Guess what? Demential is a word.
Vortexial technically isn't, but I simply took some artistic freedom and used it anyway.

Not like either point has anything to do with anything.

Niether Oxford nor Merriam-Webster have it listed as a word, but whatever floats your boat.
Anyways, are you saying that since neither "point" has "anything to do with anything", that your entire opening line is pointless?

I'm only trying to be objective since there's no real critique in this thread yet. I take textual compositions seriously, as they are a passion of mine. However, if that's not what you're looking for and you only posted a 20-minute work for the sake of receiving compliments, I will readily leave without another word.

[Aborted]

Niether Oxford nor Merriam-Webster have it listed as a word, but whatever floats your boat.
Anyways, are you saying that since neither "point" has "anything to do with anything", that your entire opening line is pointless?

I'm only trying to be objective since there's no real critique in this thread yet. I take textual compositions seriously, as they are a passion of mine. However, if that's not what you're looking for and you only posted a 20-minute work for the sake of receiving compliments, I will readily leave without another word.

Neither Oxford nor MW are the absolute say on English Vocabulary.
I also never stated that the entire opening line was pointless, as I was pertaining to your irrelevant critique which never addressed anything but simple word choice. It's not as if I fabricated a word entirely, but merely added a suffix upon an already established one, in order to create a usable adjective. The word still retains its value, and no meaning is lost. I'm sorry if I colored outside of the lines of artistic expression.

[Ryan]

Neither Oxford nor MW have the absolute say in English vocabulary.
I also never stated that the entire opening line was pointless, as I was referring to your irrelevant critique which never addressed anything but simple word choice. It's not as if I fabricated a word entirely, but merely added a suffix upon an already established one, in order to create a usable adjective. The word still retains its value, and no meaning is lost. I'm sorry if I colored outside of the lines of artistic expression.

There's a difference between altering a word for the sake of "artistic expression" and trying to make a word sound more complex than it is.
I also just noticed that you're from Cuba, so there's an excuse for your incorrect grammar, usage of other words and your misspelling of "enigma", one that even Dictionary(dot)com doesn't recognize.

I never meant to start a fight. I only meant to critique you. Evidently, that's not something you value, so I'll leave you alone.

[Aborted]

There's a difference between altering a word for the sake of "artistic expression", and trying to make a word sound more complex than it is.
I also just noticed that you're from Cuba, so there's an excuse for your incorrect grammar, usage of other words, and your misspelling of "enigma, one that even Dictionary(dot)com doesn't recognize.

I never meant to start a fight. I only meant to critique you. Evidently, that's not something you value, so I'll leave you alone.

Altering the word for complexity was never my goal at all. The sole reason for its alteration was so that it could be used in the context, which would require it to be an adjective, hence the "al" suffix. I also have near perfect grammar and spelling, far better than the average individual. You're merely pulling at straws for the sake of being an asshole, and haven't given a single piece of actual critique.

[Oneirish]

There's a difference between altering a word for the sake of "artistic expression" and trying to make a word sound more complex than it is.
I also just noticed that you're from Cuba, so there's an excuse for your incorrect grammar, usage of other words and your misspelling of "enigma", one that even Dictionary(dot)com doesn't recognize.

I never meant to start a fight. I only meant to critique you. Evidently, that's not something you value, so I'll leave you alone.

there's not much critiquing going on, I mostly see slandering of words that don't exist in the English dictionaries. Besides it's not like the words used were "nigga" and "trigga" that rhythm and aren't actual words. This is poetry, not an essay report.

[Black Eyed Peas]

Jeez people, it's a good piece, that's all. Get over yourselves.