Hey man thanks very much for reading this and taking this on consideration. I red all your text very carefully , the problem is even if i stay strong or dont hurt myself, it's still hopeless. My parents and bro dont come back, i miss them so much they were my workd. Even my granpa is very sick , he cant handle their deaths too, i think he is gonna die too and ill be all alone. Cousins i had gave me the old pc i am writing. They didnt even help with money whoch is the thing i need the most atm.. I think this life isnt meant for me..