I was just commenting on another post, and I started to get really in depth. It was simply asking "How was your day" and it really made me think... How WAS my day? Do you ever have those days / weeks where you just feel like shit mentally because you're not doing anything? That's me right now, so I wanted to talk to everyone and vent I suppose to see what everyone else has going on. We all have problems yeah, but I have to keep smiling. Anyways... i'm 17 and will be turning 18 in around 2 months so I am just starting my life, I always had trouble going to school / doing my work because I didn't want to be there at all. Eventually through High School it got worse and by senior year I had missed so many days that I had Truancy court... if you don't know what that is basically a court where they force you to go to school and do your work or you go to training school. I missed maybe 60 days in a row or something after that and this was the second half of the school year remember, so they were getting ready to really fuck me for it. I decided that was it and it wasn't worth getting sent away / getting my parents in trouble so I went into the school got the papers and dropped out. I know that dropping out really fucks you for life nowadays so I signed myself up for Penn Foster online High school to finish off the year online. Aced all the tests within a week or two and passed with nothing below a B+ (Yay finally an accomplishment!) It still fucked with my head that I didn't get to graduate and walk the stage with my friends and be proud... but at least I get the diploma. I still owe another $400-$500 on that schooling before I get the diploma (My parents are paying the monthly $50 because I am not working) I also have stomach issues and they aren't sure what yet, i'm thinking eating frozen food... staying up until 8 am... and not leaving my computer for long periods of time and not exercising might have broke my stomach. Anyways I always feel sick so I don't want to get a job and have to call out all the time and get fired because of my stomach being messed up. Now I am sitting here, with no job, a diploma (Technically), and no plans. My brother is going to college right now, and working a job so my parents are so proud of him and i'm just kind of the bum. I'm one of the happiest people you will ever meet so it's rare that I get in this mood. Not to mention I met this girl a few weeks ago and she is super sweet and really cares for me already, so that's an upside I guess. Right now I am thinking about joining the Army since I don't have much going for me and that can set me on the right track and make me proud of myself and show my parents and everyone who doubts me that I can do something. I am back to looking into becoming a Police Officer and eventually moving through law enforcement, but I am just in weird place right now and want some opinions / want to talk about it. If anyone else wants to talk but not on this thread, feel free to PM me we all need to get stuff off our chest sometimes.
How was my day?
I wen't to school, but forgot to bring money and keys so im locked out of my house and I can't even get a tool at any store to break in, I also had no food at lunch because like I said before I brought no money. My morning was good, until my mom woke me up cause I had to go to school... same routine every single day.... I waited for my dad to come home and let me inside the house - for he was the one who had the keys, I keep on thinking what if I was an eagle... what if I didn't have to do the same routine everyday, I swear life is nothing except for misery after misery, there is no reason for me to exist and I know this deep down, i'm probably not gonna be some kind of billionaire or helper of people, my life means nothing to anyone - when I die no ones gonna remember me, the life insurance companies wont care - cause I have no life insurance, my parents won't care - cause I lost my parents long ago, nothing in my life matters - I might as well off myself...