Just live bro enjoy your time while you have it. I happen to have known someone who has lost both of his lifelong best friends through a car accident and he goes through grief every single day . What you may be going through may be tough but cherish your life, you only have one after all.
There's a really good quote you should take heed to if you're feeling depressed "people think suicide ends the possibility of anything getting any worse, but really it just ruins the possibility of anything getting better."