For the past hour and a half I've been searching the Internet looking for some suitable compilers of these long-lost languages, I've found a couple that look adequate for writing process memory. But this one in-particular I thought was funny. This is a copy/paste from another website describing the language.
INTERCAL
In the movie "Windtalkers" with Nicholas Cage, the U.S. Marines use Navajo translators to communicate secret messages for them, because the Navajo language can only be spoken, having no written form. INTERCAL is sort of like that, but the opposite.
This ridiculous esoteric programming language was designed as an unpronounceable satire of FOTRAN and COBOL (yes, it's old). Everything about the language is absurd. From the form of the manual, which contains a "tonsil," as explained in this footnote; "4) Since all other reference manuals have Appendices, it was decided that the INTERCAL manual should contain some other type of removable organ."
The language also uses modifiers such as "PLEASE", which if not used frequently enough is rejected by the compiler as insufficiently polite, and if used too much is rejected for being excessively polite. More frustrating still, was the fact that despite the existence of this feature, it was undocumented in the manual.
As a practical language, INTERCAL is Turing-complete, meaning it actually works. But if you're planning on actually trying to use INTERCAL you should first check your sanity, and you should be prepared to wait a long time. A Sieve of Eratosthenes benchmark, computing all prime numbers less than 65536, was tested on a Sun SPARCStation-1. In C, it took less than half a second; the same program in INTERCAL took more than 17 hours."
I won't even attempt to use this language for my project. I just got a laugh about it, so I figured I would share. I'll probably end up using ColdFusion or Haskell. I'll let you know if I get banned... Ha Ha
