First thing I notice is the clashing of themes in this.
Your render has a dark theme that brings thoughts of death and battle and such into my mind. So I see the render and then it has a pink theme to it with some C4Ds thrown in the BG that give it a very strange feel.
Another thing is the lighting. It really just doesn't have a light source. You got light coming from all over, that works if you actually have a source. The assumed source is the sun otherwise your need some sort of light fixture or something. You got light behind him and light around the shield and then it stops.