Seriously?
So I work as a vendor in Home Depot, and the H&R block next to us just got broken into. So a pig comes in to check our security feed, but instead glares at me for ten fucking minutes and THEN follows me into the bathroom.
As soon as I sit down to do ma business the pig starts fucking INTERROGATING ME, so I tell him to fuck off. He disn't like that too much apparently, because he then told me he was going to find the evidence to pin the break in on me, and I'll only get out of it when pigs fly. So being the genius I am, I said "guess I'm off Scott free then cuz I've definitely seen you pigs in helicopters". Then I let out a string of insults to him for interrupting my meditating time in the bathroom.
So we go back and forth, and finally he says he's "ordering me out of the stall", so I said "as long as I canine your ugly ass face as toilet paper". That pissed him off MORE, and so he threatened to have cops watch my family, big mistake.while on the toilet, I called a relative of mine who's very good friends with the district sgt of the state police barracks in my area, and conferences me into the call.
Meanwhile I'm still on the toilet, and I explain it all to him, and included vividly that my bowels are clenched from the anxiety (had to make things worse for the pig outside the stall). Next thing I hear the pigs radio go off and HIS sgt (btw it was a town cop doing this to me) screamed at him to leave me alone.
So as he's walking away my boss walks in cracking up, and the prig goes "what do you think is so funny fat boy) to my boss, and my boss holds up a small disc and tells the pig "you do know that we have security cameras in here that prove my employees innocence right?", and the pigs face got SO RED (I finally was out of the stall) and he tried to walk out quickly, but not before one of my co workers blurts out "hope you enjoy donuts cuz your stats gunna rip yours a new one buddy!".
Worst part is I already hate public restrooms, and this just made me see them as another means of getting arrested.
As soon as I sit down to do ma business the pig starts fucking INTERROGATING ME, so I tell him to fuck off. He disn't like that too much apparently, because he then told me he was going to find the evidence to pin the break in on me, and I'll only get out of it when pigs fly. So being the genius I am, I said "guess I'm off Scott free then cuz I've definitely seen you pigs in helicopters". Then I let out a string of insults to him for interrupting my meditating time in the bathroom.
So we go back and forth, and finally he says he's "ordering me out of the stall", so I said "as long as I canine your ugly ass face as toilet paper". That pissed him off MORE, and so he threatened to have cops watch my family, big mistake.while on the toilet, I called a relative of mine who's very good friends with the district sgt of the state police barracks in my area, and conferences me into the call.
Meanwhile I'm still on the toilet, and I explain it all to him, and included vividly that my bowels are clenched from the anxiety (had to make things worse for the pig outside the stall). Next thing I hear the pigs radio go off and HIS sgt (btw it was a town cop doing this to me) screamed at him to leave me alone.
So as he's walking away my boss walks in cracking up, and the prig goes "what do you think is so funny fat boy) to my boss, and my boss holds up a small disc and tells the pig "you do know that we have security cameras in here that prove my employees innocence right?", and the pigs face got SO RED (I finally was out of the stall) and he tried to walk out quickly, but not before one of my co workers blurts out "hope you enjoy donuts cuz your stats gunna rip yours a new one buddy!".
Worst part is I already hate public restrooms, and this just made me see them as another means of getting arrested.
Fucking pigs.
Originally Posted by Rigby
