Originally Posted by Aborted
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris?
Can I answer this for him?
It's 42.
Originally Posted by Aborted
Can I answer this for him?
It's 42.
Another edition of
Originally Posted by Aborted
Can I answer this for him?
It's 42.
Well shit, here goes.
Originally Posted by Implify
Nope
Originally Posted by Maxedout
I think you look like a Norwegian whore.
Originally Posted by Dave84311
Because it's funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
Originally Posted by Hennessy
Pretty damn good m8
Originally Posted by Azathth
Because attention.
Rude.
Originally Posted by Bernard
More from my parents than anything I guess.
Originally Posted by Implify
Have you done anal? 
Originally Posted by Maxedout
Do I look pretty in purple? 
Originally Posted by Dave84311
Why should we ask you questions when you're high?
Originally Posted by Hennessy
do you love me #2?
how has ur life been.
how has ur life been.
Originally Posted by Azathth
Because attention.
Originally Posted by Bernard
Do you crave attention?
Originally Posted by .REZ
Rude.
Originally Posted by Azathth
Today's the first day I've been sober in a week. I don't go around posting threads about how stoned, or wasted I am, the balls I'm tripping over, or how many bitches I've boned. This thread has zero informative value. Furthermore, that wasn't meant to be an insult as much as it was an observation. People like attention and entertainment, especially so when they're royally fucked. It's not bad, it's natural. Some whores on this site just take it too far.
(P.S. I know from past posts of mine, you can't quite tell what's sarcasm or not, this is sarcasm.)
Also, early gratz on 13k.
Do you think someday we could grow old together?
Originally Posted by Exotiic.
can you swag so hard, your pants rip?
Originally Posted by Azathth
Today's the first day I've been sober in a week. I don't go around posting threads about how stoned, or wasted I am, the balls I'm tripping over, or how many bitches I've boned. This thread has zero informative value. Furthermore, that wasn't meant to be an insult as much as it was an observation. People like attention and entertainment, especially so when they're royally fucked. It's not bad, it's natural. Some whores on this site just take it too far.
Originally Posted by Aborted
.....................................
•He would chuck, he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
•If he could chuck wood, the woodchuck would chuck as much as he could!
•A woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
•A woodchuck would chuck all the wood that the woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
•If a woodchuck could chuck wood, he would and should chuck wood. But if woodchucks can't chuck wood, they shouldn't and wouldn't chuck wood. Though were I a woodchuck, and I chucked wood, I would chuck wood with the best woodchucks that chucked wood.
•If a woodchuck could chuck wood, then s/he'd chuck all the wood, s/he'd chuck and chuck and chuck and chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
•It would chuck the amount of wood that she sells seashells on the seashore divided by how many pickles Peter Piper picks.
•One quarter of a sycamore if you give him a quarter for every quarter of the sycamore he cut.
•It might depend on how many female woodchucks were present. Or, it could depend on whether the woodchuck's mother-in-law was around or not. If she was, he'd be chucking all day. If not, he'd be watching the football game.
•Some maintain that woodchucks could not and would not chuck wood at all.
•It depends on how good his dentures are!
•A woodchuck - would chuck - as much wood - as a woodchuck - could chuck - if a woodchuck could chuck wood. But unfortunately, woodchucks do not chuck wood.
•About 5.72 fluid litres of wood (answer from the paper pulp mill).
•About as many boards as the Mongol hoards would hoard if the Mongol hordes did hoard boards.
•Um....... 23????
•Tons. More than you can count. Honestly. No one can chuck more wood than a woodchuck.
•If the woodchuck's name was Maurice, then it could chuck all the wood that it wanted to. However, if its name is Frank, no chucking would be allowed.
•Due to the average size of a woodchuck and the general density of wood (not including cork) if a woodchuck could chuck wood it would probably get through about 6.573 pounds per day, assuming the woodchuck is functioning correctly.
•Using the formula: (W + I) * C where W = the constant of wood, which is well known to be 61, as agreed in many scientific circles. I = the variable in this equation, and stands for the word "if" from the original problem. As there are three circumstances, with 0 equaling the chance that the woodchuck cannot chuck wood, 1 being the theory that the woodchuck can chuck wood but chooses not to, and 2 standing for the probability that the woodchuck can and will chuck wood, we clearly must choose 2 for use in this equation. C = the constant of Chuck Norris, whose presence in any problem involving the word chuck must there, is well known to equal 1.1 of any known being, therefore the final part of this calculation is 1.1. As is clear, this appears to give the answer of (61 + 2) * 1.1 = (63) * 1.1 = 69.3 units of wood.
•"Sixteen and 1/2 board feet a day except on groundhog's day since groundhog is another name for woodchuck."- This answer is according to no less an authority than the 'Junior Woodchucks Guidebook', a publication often consulted by Huey, Dewey, and Louie Duck and referred to yet again by them in answering this very same question.
•How Chuck Norris got involved-
A woodchuck would only chuck as much would as Chuck Norris would allow it to, because the woodchuck shares Chuck's name. Therefore, Chuck must punish it and make it chuck as much wood as Chuck can. So, a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as Chuck could.
•None because a wood chuck cannot chuck wood! :P
•Approximately 3.9675 pounds every 5.6843 seconds. So there.
•2.865 lbs every 11.3686 Seconds?
•As much as he needed to be satisfied
•But the true jokey answer, as told by my grandfather is: As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
•a woodchuck would chuck all the wood he could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood
•Are you kidding? Everybody knows a woodchuck would chuck as much wood as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood.
•But it definitely couldn't chuck Chuck Norris.
•A group of people actually did a study on this. None of the wood chucks ate any wood planks so they never upchucked it but some of them chucked them (threw them) at people.
•During my study of Woodchuck I came to the conclusion that woodchucks don't chuck wood but only drink beer.
•However, this beer can frequently motivate them towards actions that can closely resemble the chucking of wood.
•A woodchuck will only chuck certain wood, likely that which is found in their natural, prairie habitat. Therefore, the lack of trees on the prairie is quite closely related to the chucking of wood performed by these wood-chucking woodchucks.
•Since it is the same animal as the Groundhog, should we not instead ask : how much ground would a groundhog hog if a groundhog
Originally Posted by Deflorate.
Do you think someday we could grow old together?
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Originally Posted by Kenshin13
How much wood can a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Originally Posted by Aborted
How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could Chuck Norris?
. Originally Posted by Aborted
.....................................
can you swag so hard, your pants rip?
