Most likely not your fault, but the girl in the first one is LQ in a few places.
Other than that, the atmosphere is done fairly well.
The second one I'm not really feeling. It's pretty monotone and there's a lot going on; not much of a background to it. Because of that, the text sort of just adds to the noise.
Last thing I could say is to drop the text unless you really know what you're doing, but no one ever listens to that one. In the first, it isn't all that distracting for whatever reason. But in the second, after I finally notice it, it just worsens the taste in my mouth, if you get me.