Humor

Hey guys if u got any jokes to do u can post them here and put them in your sig and like the one that said "a True friend will bail u out, a homi will say we Fucked up" etc.....

Get on posting and i will regulary edit this thread with some of my own jokes......

What do you call a baby with no legs, no arms, and stranded in the middle of the ocean?

Fucked.
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What's screaming, blue, and flying around the room?

A baby with a punctured lung.
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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?"

"Africa," says the parrot.
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What do you say to a black guy riding a bike?

Give it back!
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What did the white man see when he looked at his family tree?

A straight line.
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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?

The NBA.
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How many jews can you fit into a car?

2 in the front
3 in the back
50 in the ash tray.
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A black guy and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who hits the ground first?

Who cares?
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What do you call 500,000 white guys jumping out of a plane?

Snow.

The milkyway boy (very nice little boy) walked into an icecream shop and said politely 'could i have a scoop banana ice cream please' ans she asked 'would you like crushed nuts ' and the boy answered 'would you like your tits blown off?'

A man walks into an ice cream parlor. He asks the clerk for some chocolate ice cream. He says "Excuse me, I would like a gallon of chocolate ice cream".
The clerk replies, "I'm sorry sir, but we are all out of chocolate. We have Vanilla, or Strawberry"
The man thinks for a second, "Oh, alright. I would like a quart of chocolate ice cream"
The clerk says "Sir, I just told you we are out of chocolate"
"Oh, alright. I'll take a cone then"
"What flavor" The clerk asks
"Chocolate", says the man proudly.
The clerk sighs. "Alright, spell van, as in Vanilla"
The man blurts out "V-A-N"
"Good! Now spell straw, as in strawberry"
Again, the man blurts out "S-T-R-A-W"
The clerk says "Now spell fuck, as in chocolate"
The man asks confused "But there is no fuck in chocolate"
The clerk yells out "THATS WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!"