Originally Posted by
Liz
It's not bad for a impromptu piece, Only real critique i can do, is to express in a more eloquent way, It may be verbose, but also gives the reader a break from normalcy. Also pick a single theme, The writing starts off as a life contemplation piece, then turns into a romanticism piece. Perhaps focusing on just one and trying to be true, honest and more open, it can lead to a much better piece.
Nonetheless, its a good start, and you should continue to write, not only does it clear the mind but helps focus it.