Please rate this little bs i made up
Please rate this little bs i made up
LOl lemme try idk im kinda new tell me improvemeants pliz tx here i go
I call out what i see
when i look at you all i see is beuaty
reppin all this shit i feel like a cat stuck in a tree
dont know how to get down i count 1-2-3
first im gone then im back
michael jackson was better black
my life is like a freethrow commin off my man shaq
sucks dont it
but bitch im only here for a moment <- idk i think this is sum eminem shit lol
made this up in like 3 mins has no meaning watsoever. Its jus what im thinkin about
feedback is golden?
I call out what i see
when i look at you all i see is beuaty
reppin all this shit i feel like a cat stuck in a tree
dont know how to get down i count 1-2-3
first im gone then im back
michael jackson was better black
my life is like a freethrow commin off my man shaq
sucks dont it
but bitch im only here for a moment <- idk i think this is sum eminem shit lol
made this up in like 3 mins has no meaning watsoever. Its jus what im thinkin about
feedback is golden?
Personally, It's a little wet. But I gotta give it 7/10 just for giving it out there. Your mind is flowing. 
Last part awesome and michael jackson thing cool ! but this rap boring =s Sorry you ruined with the cat in a tree shit xD
Originally Posted by jackpoop
LOl lemme try idk im kinda new tell me improvemeants pliz tx here i go
I call out what i see
when i look at you all i see is beuaty
I call out what i see
when i look at you all i see is beuaty
Originally Posted by jackpoop
reppin all this shit i feel like a cat stuck in a tree
dont know how to get down i count 1-2-3
dont know how to get down i count 1-2-3
Originally Posted by jackpoop
first im gone then im back
michael jackson was better black
michael jackson was better black
Originally Posted by jackpoop
my life is like a freethrow commin off my man shaq
sucks dont it
sucks dont it
Originally Posted by jackpoop
but bitch im only here for a moment <- idk i think this is sum eminem shit lol
Originally Posted by jackpoop
made this up in like 3 mins has no meaning watsoever. Its jus what im thinkin about
feedback is golden?
feedback is golden?
Often times what you think is shit, it isn't art. I am speaking in general now not you specifically. You need to learn to bridge the gap between what is real and what it is that you feel.
Originally Posted by bikadechu
Sloppy transition and wtf are you tryin to say?
Somethin chased you up a tree? Give more substance to it.
MJ was better white because he chose to do what he wanted. Don't believe the media spin.
Any insightful meaning to be taken from this is lost in its vulgarity.
It needs a lot of work, honestly. Even for three minutes it is poor. Overall it jumps around to much so work on that and you should improve.
Often times what you think is shit, it isn't art. I am speaking in general now not you specifically. You need to learn to bridge the gap between what is real and what it is that you feel.
Somethin chased you up a tree? Give more substance to it.
MJ was better white because he chose to do what he wanted. Don't believe the media spin.
Any insightful meaning to be taken from this is lost in its vulgarity.
It needs a lot of work, honestly. Even for three minutes it is poor. Overall it jumps around to much so work on that and you should improve.
Often times what you think is shit, it isn't art. I am speaking in general now not you specifically. You need to learn to bridge the gap between what is real and what it is that you feel.
Chill the fuck out - it's a rap. Not every line has to have a meaning to it. It's not a story, which you post your opinions on every line.
And the rap is a bit sloppy, not a great flow. For 3 minutes, it's not actually that bad. Keep it up.
Where the fuck are the transitions 
its pretty bad m8. but dont get down, get up, try again till you get good at this man.
its pretty bad m8. but dont get down, get up, try again till you get good at this man.I prettyt suck at rapping myself yet I need to say, this needs work. Keep working so u can get better and try to make a story IMO, or try to talk bout a certain subject, dont just throw lines away.
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