I Feel Sick

I have not smiled for the past week. It seems every smile I make is in my class which is forced, It gives me a head ache, when I have to 'fake laugh' at my friends jokes. Which I no longer feel are my friends, How do you know someone is your friend. I don't know if my friends are "playing around" when they punch me but it is painful. And when they ignore me and talk to my friends I end up just following, then being ignored. Last launch time I spent at math studying for a test. I don't really have fun in life anymore, Its like nothing ever nice happens to me. Let alone exciting. I am fucking sick of it. Its just continuous, It gets boaring. Lets see tomorrow, Visit mpgh. Programm.........Play Gunz for 1 hour. Eat, programm...Sleep. My day is boaring. I don't have fun playing anything anymore, no matter what it is. I tried four different games today, I couldn't be interested one bit.

When ever we do a 2 person activity it ends up as I am the last picked. In a group activity, I always end up with fat loud slackers. And I get in trouble for telling them to be quite during a presentation. last gym class I heard "Aww we have jeremy as a golly" how do you respond to that. I just ignored it. I don't know what to say. "Your right I do suck" I do suck at golly but she was not any better. I am just sick of being the loser. Grade 3 to now. Ugh I know alot of other people are in the same situation.