Hate Printers!

last night i went to a thread called 'hacking coke vending machines' and to my surprise it was simple and easy and VCOOL. so imagine my surprise when, i went to print it. my printer was quite laggy and it was taking ages to turn on. so i hit it. i hit it hard enough to destroy a live wild moose apparently, because the plastic guide rail decided to detach itself and freeball its way through the air into my new couch and tear a stitch. FUCK. so now i must get it repaired! anyway, so my printer makes a weird noise. then it sais, SYSTEM PHYSICAL ERROR! so i think this is because of the guide rail. ooooh no. i go into details tab, and guess what it sed? INK LEAKAGE! BULL FUCKING SHIT . if it can recognise a ink leakage why couldnt they prevent them? anyway, so i fiddle around for a while and then i get it back to worling condition. i do a few test prints of a poicture and im ready. ok so i reopen my document on cke hacking, and THEN!!!!!!! i press print. nothing happens. i press again. right now i have the rage of an OX and the strength of 5. so after AGES f tinkering around, i find out that the problem was the ink cartridge was leaking all over the internals. i remove it, clear out the excess and admire my new blue / pink interior printer. put the cartridge back in, and then press print. ahh, my printer begins to print. it takes a while and to my amazement. IT PRINTS A BLANK SHEET! and further worse, wen i repress PRINT it tells me this- FOLLOWING TANKS ARE EMPTY- CYAN,MAGENTA. why the fuck od i need them. i was printng black text on white BG. wtfwtfwtfwtf.
so i go into settings and set it to monotone black and white. i try this and no work. so then i press print and it seems to have accepted my monotone print this time. but guess what. it prints it out horizontally. so my page came out sideways! THEN IT WAS OUT OF BLACK INK BUT I COULD CLEARLY SEE SOME IN THE FILTER! in the end, my printer decides to print after i scrape the ink off the edges and into the cartridge right. so my problems are over. nope. my printer is jammed and will now tear anything in 10 pieces when i print it! GOD HELP ME IT NEVER ENDS!
so i rote it down BY HAND. thats 3 print-pages worht of hand riting. jesus talk about a carpal-tunnel syndrome!!!!!!!!! GODDAM!